DEV Community

Discussion on: 7 Pieces of Bad Advice for Women in Engineering Leadership

Collapse
 
andreidascalu profile image
Andrei Dascalu

I find these really strange .... for the most part it's because it doesn't really feel like advice but more reflective of a certain lack of true interest in the welfare of someone else by spewing out generalities. I've heard that kind of "advice" thrown at many (particularly the one about the "corner office", regardless whether the recipient was male or female - wtf, I'll aim for whatever the bleep I want in my career)

Except ... assertiveness. It's a general advice but I like to think it comes when the person saying it sees something that makes them think I'm not assertive enough. It's not because I may think I'm not, but simply the fact that I give the impression means that others may become inclined to dismiss my needs. In the workplace, as a technical manager, that's bad.
Being assertive isn't about being rude or dismissive (nothing to do with "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar" - speaking of which, you can catch even more flies with manure than with honey, doesn't mean start throwing s**t around though it seems to be working well for politicians). It's about being clear about what you need done and ensuring the message goes across clearly.
Of course, it also means that you should go about it while adapting to people. Some people do great with being directly assertive. Some do react better to some "honey coating". But those in the former category may react really bad to "honey coating" as being subtle about conveying your needs can make you appear disingenuous and manipulative.