That's some real talk, thank you for being so open and sharing this story!
Don't be too hard on yourself though, you're already creating things in a professional setting, putting them out there and having them used by people who are happy to use them. That's quite the achievement.
I think I understand it though; you want to grow, be better at what you do and truly understand the tools you're working with and know that you're using them in the best way. There's plenty information on the internet but it's so hard to find a good learning path and know where to start.
What I've learned over the years is that there are plenty of people who are willing to help out with that! I don't know if you're on Twitter, but Stephanie Hurlburt has this tweet asking for people to reply if they're open to help / mentor. The tweet has hundreds of replies with brilliant people and shockingly just a few get taken up on their offer. If you're looking for someone to guide you a bit, that might be a good start!
This is why we write this kind of posts, to hear this type of feedback. It can really help you evolve, in any matter!
I'm kinda new to Twitter, just because I didn't really understand how to use it to improve as a developer, and only Facebook, because of friends and the 'fun' (not so much, so I'm diminishing the use every day).
Thank you so much for the recommendations and for reading and understanding it! I'll do my best to improve and hopefully share this journey, about how I can Improve myself and the world (maybe, I hope), with you guys!
And I recommend this post to start this journey - What a Developer Should Really Catch
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