No one works at Facebook. It's all robots and lizards.

cantnopwontnop profile image NOP ・3 min read

When Mark Zuckerberg was put in front of US Congress to explain what facebook is, I was on his side. I had always felt like the underdog. So of course I routed for the David faced against a Goliath that is the government. Now, I've completely flipped my opinion. Facebook doesn't care about it's users: it only cares about selling your information. If that wasn't true, I would be talking to a human being right now, fixing my account in real time. But alas, the site is run by robots, and the legal department by lizards.

Once upon a time, I made a facebook account. That was my first mistake.

No one should have a facebook. After a few years of cringe-worthy photos and friends lists full of people I didn't really care about, I deleted my facebook account and created a new one. I liked the ability to have a fresh start: I could filter out people I hated or have harassed me in high school.

After a couple years with that second account, I did it again. More or less just to disrupt any ad profiles associated with my name.

Eventually I deleted my account outright. I lived a wonderful two years away: I can stay focused on a task, spend more time with my family, be productive at work, and I never have to worry about the next big movie plot being spoiled.

I am now starting my own business in Web development. It's absolutely perfect for me as my hometown of 10,000 people has virtually no competition in a 400 km (249 mi) radius. I'm ready to turn this hobby into my profession.

facebook strikes again

I'm preparing to market my business. It just so happens nearly every existing business in my community, new or old, has facebook 🙄. Clearly facebook is going to be the easiest avenue for free, directed, exposure. To make a business page on facebook, you need a personal account to manage it from. Facebook's polices request that you only have one facebook account per person, and that your name match your ID in case you're locked out. Logical.

I didn't get far before facebook asked me to send a photo to verify my face. Apparently I don't look like me, because I am a week into a disabled facebook account. I cannot register a new account as it does not recognise my cell phone number anymore. (I'm possibly on a blacklist.) I didn't reach the point of assigning the account an email. If I ever do get ahold of a human at facebook (lets be real here, it's not going to happen), it would be an easy cleanup since all of my accounts use the same phone number or under a very unique domain name.

In order to access the Facebook Help Centre, you need to log in. In order to log in, you need an active facebook account. See the problem there? It's hard to explain to an automated system why I have owned a total of 5+ accounts. (I have owned some fake accounts, I'll explain in a later post.)

It's hard to beat DEV.TO

I am grateful for DEV.TO. Every article I read here has either taught me something or has inspired me to think critically. Rants are typically negative, destructive, and avoided. I just feel like the this community is supportive enough to allow me to speak freely about my frustrations, gain perspective, and keep moving forward.

I know that if anything happened to my DEV.TO account, I could tweet or email @bendhalpern and get a friendly response. In a world of automation and numbers, there really is no better website with the interests of developers at heart.

Thank you everyone, for coming to my TED talk. 🤣

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cantnopwontnop profile



A Northern Ontario, Canada kid who can't stay still. Moving between the northwest, the east, and the south for work, martial arts, and family.


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