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Kind of reaching an existential crisis here and can use some help on where I go from here. . .

MarcusAurelius on December 28, 2022

I want to keep this as succinct as possible and keep details scant to make this readable and to keep a degree of anonymity. But I'm warning you? T...
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Leticia Snyder

browse some Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson...

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MarcusAurelius

Ha ha ha. I have mixed emotions about those two.

I like JBP's stance on responsibility and hard work.

But I can't stand some of his other talking points.

I love Andrew Tate's motivational speeches, yet I can't stand some of his political views.

Though I have to admit : I'm shocked that a woman in tech of all places is suggesting those two.

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Leticia Snyder

yeah... well I have 4 sons and brothers too and I care about them in this world.

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MarcusAurelius

Wow. . . .You're a good woman, Leticia Snyder.

Mind if I ask you what your story is? It's just that there aren't many black women in development, so when people like us enter the space I like to ask for their stories and advice. Especially when they have more experience than me.

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Leticia Snyder

i see that you are in a tough mental space, and i feel your pain. but don't leave this world yet. I hope you can find your tribe. there exist those who could and would be more supportive.

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MarcusAurelius

I appreciate it, I'm not going anywhere yet.
My therapist is a true goddess of wisdom.
I just don't know if I should even bother with being a programmer or not.

I mean: The idea of writing code for the rest of my life doesn't really appeal to me. And it's like. . . .I don't want to be Mark Zuckerberg, I want to be the type of guy who was a lover to an instagram model a few times before he settled down.

I love talking about Dostoevsky and existential topics or even how machines or math work. But at the same time, I love partying and having a good time. I just haven't found a way to square both of those things yet and my inability to square those things is making me lose motivation.