DEV Community: Krithika Chandramouli

You Are Not A Coding Monkey

Krithika Chandramouli — Tue, 06 Dec 2022 19:05:20 +0000

It was a usual weekday morning. As I woke up to my 7am alarm, I reached for my phone, pulled down my notifications on my iPhone, skimmed through all of them, and went straight to my work messages. This had become a daily morning ritual for the last few years. I went through all the direct messages first, then group ones. There was one from my summer intern Steve. It was unusual for me to see pings from him so early in the morning.

Hey Krithika, I know our 1:1 isn't until early next week but I was wondering if we could set up some time to chat? It's about something personal but has been affecting my work.

It was my first time being a summer intern manager, and I was not sure of what to expect with a request like this. I replied back saying we could meet later that day in the office. He blocked my calendar for the first available time that day. I was a bit concerned, but also quite curious.

Steve was a cheerful young college grad who always greeted me eagerly when I walked to my desk every single day. He would gather the team for lunch every day, and was often the source of amusing college stories or fun things to do during weekends.

But today was a little different. We entered the meeting room and sat down (we've been going to the office most of this year). There was some awkwardness, and a lot of tension in the air. Steve didn't look his usual chipper self. I asked him what was going on.

I don't know where to start. I have been having a lot of anxiety about how the internship is going. I have been clinically diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. But lately I feel like it has been getting the better of me. I have doubts about whether I deserve to be here.

I listened. I could tell that it was taking Steve a lot of courage to open up in this conversation. He continued.

I question if computer science and tech is even the right field for me. All the other interns talk about how the unsaid expectations are to stay ahead of their goals. We also chat about how we're just expected to show up and just code and finish our milestones. I'm not a coding monkey. Sometimes I feel like I'm lagging behind and no matter what I do I can't beat that. And it's those days that my anxiety gets worse and it affects my performance in a negative way.

In that moment I felt very thankful that he had been vulnerable with me. I couldn't see why a competent college grad like Steve who was on track to achieve all his milestones in his internship, showing so much promise would feel so inadequate about himself. But at the same time, so many of his questions and self doubts mirrored my own that I had when I started off in my career.

Some of the best managers I'd had in my career had all been deeply empathetic people. People who with a lot of tact trod the line of listening, and also being open about their own experiences of growth, without being overly intrusive or sharing too much. What a wonderful skill! In that moment, in my meeting with Steve, in my first stint as a people manager, I tried to remember the collective tone of all those wonderful mentors I'd had in the past that had not only put me at ease in my moments of self doubt, but had also eventually helped me grow. I tried to emulate, and pay it forward.

I tried to empathize, and tell Steve about all the times that I had felt the same way but had managed to use certain coping mechanisms when I struggled through my own challenges- impostor syndrome, grief, insecurities of not coming from a traditional computer science background. Most importantly, I was able to tell Steve that he wasn't alone. And no, he wasn't a coding monkey. Instantly I could see that he felt understood. His posture was no longer tense.

With the prevalent hustle culture of the Silicon Valley today, we often tend to look at people as resources who can get things done for us. We're often reporting up to someone above us that is setting goals for us to achieve. In all of this, we sometimes forget that we're people. Yes, we can try our best to compartmentalize our personal lives from our work lives. But the truth is that our intellect and our emotions often influence each other. I know so many people by their own admission who derive their sense of self worth just based on the how their work day went, and how productive they were. On the other hand, I big events and traumas in our personal lives could very well seep into our productivity in the workplace. Both of these are negative feedback loops. While we cannot break it because it is so systemic, we can at least acknowledge it and be empathetic.

As people who have people reporting to them, we can set precedent that it is possible to achieve goals, innovate, build great products and teams while being human about it. You may stop me, and say "we run a business, not a charity". And I agree. We as leaders don't have to compromise on our business goals in the process of creating more empathetic, open spaces to work where people can bring their most authentic selves. When we start to show empathy towards the people who's cooperation we so badly want, we start to show them that they are not just resources, and that they matter and their work is valuable. This has great potential to break the negative feedback cycle of unsatisfactory work diminishing peoples' sense of self worth.

As people who work in fast paced teams, we can do our part- manage upwards! We can communicate our needs to be seen as entities beyond our intellectual capabilities. When we do so with responsibility and accountability, we gain our teams' trust and start to build connections. In today's world of Zoom meetings with cameras off, by offering our vulnerable selves we show that we're equal parts of thinking and feeling- not coding monkeys.

Intern's name has been changed, and conversations paraphrased to protect their privacy. Thank you for reading!

10 Questions and Prompts for Your Next 1-on-1 with Your Mentor

Krithika Chandramouli — Tue, 06 Dec 2022 16:39:01 +0000

I previously wrote about mentoring and being a mentee, and how it can really help accelerate your career by giving you insights into many topics ranging from your blind spots in your trajectory to perspective on an incident that happened with you.

As a mentor I’ve worked with junior engineers who walk into a meeting with me without much idea on what to talk about and end up winging it. At that point I take it upon myself to navigate conversations with them to make 1-on-1s productive by asking a series of questions to understand what takeaways they are looking for.

In this post I shed light on some of these insightful pointers and prompts that can help mentees who have identified a great candidate for a mentor get started on building a long term relationship with them.

I classify them loosely on two axes. The first axis is questions about mentors vs questions about mentees. The second axis is broader career related questions that are longer term vs questions about incidents and behaviours that pertain more to the near term.

10. How did you get into mentorship?

It’s interesting to know what motivates other people in general. But with someone who is mentoring you, it might be great to get an insight into to their beginning story and journey.

9. What is next in your career?

Your mentor may be a little ahead of you in their journey but knowing how they are going to navigate their career just like you’re trying to will give you some perspective on continuous learning, and give you a sneak peek into things you currently don’t quite know but will learn eventually when you’re at the level that your mentor is at.

8. What does your day to day look like?

When I was a junior engineer, I would always be curious about all the meetings that some of the more senior members of my team would attend, or if I would see calendars blocked out for some of them. But I never had a chance to ask. With a mentor you have that chance! Get curious about what they’re up to day-to-day to help you paint an image of what you’re growing towards in your career.

7. How did you go from level n to level n+1?

It might be tempting to ask “How do I go from my current level to the next”. But your mentor might have have too many answers for you there if they lack context on your work and how you operate. A better question to ask is how they go to their current level or how they got a certain promotion. They journey can serve as a great example to you when thinking about your own promotion. More importantly, their mistakes could help you get a sense of what not to do when aiming for your next promotion.

6. How can I get more visibility in my team/org/company?

One of the important factors in our growth is perception management- how to manage how people perceive you. Getting visibility for the work that you’re doing might be an essential step in this, and might be a great topic for your next 1:1. There is always a certain level of visibility that could help boost our confidence and positively reinforce the good work we’re doing.

5. Can you help me talk through my strengths and weaknesses?

This is a great exercise to do with your mentor, and a personal favourite. By using your mentor as a sounding board you’re able to put yourself under the microscope and be your own critic. Bonus question: which weaknesses do you think will hold me back in the long run?

4. How do I get better at a certain skill or adopting certain behaviours?

Whether you’re intimidated by code reviews, or speaking up in a meeting, or anything in between- your mentor might be able to guide you through navigating these skills that you are looking to improve but find no real guidance outside in your team. While it is great to emulate people around you, it is good to also keep in mind to bring in your own authenticity when developing soft skills and behaviours.

3. At this point in my career what should I focus on?

Your mentor would likely have passed through the very same stage in their career as your are right now, and might have a healthy point of view on what is next in line for the team/org/company. Your mentors opinions here on whether you should be focusing on honing your skills or learning a new technology or leading more projects might help you understand where to put in work to grow.

2. I was in a meeting when a co-worker said this (to me)…

This one is a bit more situational, and not necessarily in a bad way. We all have workplace interactions with our co-workers that we sometimes need to unpack especially when it directly applies to us. Your mentor may not have been present in the meeting but your mentor might be able to talk through a workplace incident with you in a judgement free and safe way.

1. I’m stuck on an issue in code and I can’t move forward…

There are large long term questions about your career to be pondered over, but some days you just have to get stuff done. If your mentor works on the same technologies as you do, chance is they might be able to help you with whatever you’re stuck on so feel free to utilize them as a resource!

If you found this article interesting here’s another story in the mentorship series: 5 Key Aspects of a Mentor-Mentee Relationship. I hope you found a valuable conversation starter for your next 1:1. Thanks for reading!

5 Key Aspects of a Mentor-Mentee Relationship

Krithika Chandramouli — Tue, 06 Dec 2022 16:35:30 +0000

As someone who works in the tech industry in Silicon Valley, I am surrounded by success stories. I work closely with exceptionally talented individuals every day. As such, I also have a lot of role models to look up to. When I come across someone I admire, and have an opportunity to work with them, I never shy away from asking them about their journey and how they got to where they are.

However, navigating my own career has oftentimes felt extremely overwhelming. In my 8 years of experience as a full stack software engineer striving to become a people manager, I’m always thrown off by one-off and conflicting, albeit well-meaning advice given by people in the industry. Some say “work smart, not hard”, while others say “work hard, not smart”. Some say “delegate”, while others say “end-to-end ownership”. All of these are correct, but only in the appropriate context.

It takes several conversations with someone experienced and trustworthy to really get into all your growth areas. While supportive managers can definitely help you navigate your career, in my experience working with my managers has been more towards the interest of the team or org you are a part of. I have had some wonderful managers in my career who have been fully supportive of my growth, but what has really helped me is working with mentors.

By being intentional in seeking out and working with several mentors, I’ve gained so much perspective of things beyond my career path, and even gotten insight into my own blind spots. In my career I have also mentored several individuals, and have learnt a lot from those interactions as well.

I’ve broken down what it is like to find and work with a mentor- both from the mentee and mentor points of view, into the following key aspects in the hope that this will give you reasons to either find a mentor or become one, and how it could be truly beneficial to your career.

Fit is important

As with any other relationship, the quality of a mentor-mentee relationship is riding on it’s fit. I find it easiest to work with someone, and even naturally gravitate towards people who’s work I admire, and recognize strengths or a skill set that I would like to hone myself. But at the same time, it works best when this person reciprocates with information, being open and honest, and wants to tell you more about their growth journey. Eventually, your mentor must have your back and operate from the standpoint of wanting things that are good for your growth.

Trust

This is probably an extrapolation of the previous point, but deserves a space of its own. Conversations with your mentor need to feel safe, and feel like a judgement free zone. Irrespective of whether your mentor works within the same organization as yourself, or if you’ve developed a recent working relationship with someone who works at another organization, you need to feel comfortable to let them point out your growth areas without taking things personally. As a mentor, you have to understand that someone is placing this kind of faith in you in exchange for honest and unbiased opinions. It is an implicit contract to abide by.

Goals

The goal is your growth. There is nothing wrong with explicitly setting your goals at the onset of the mentor-mentee relationship. It can look like “I would like to improve my project management and people skills” or “I would like to get promoted to the next level”. As a mentor I find it easier to give advice and focus my narratives on a set goal. As a mentee I’m looking for someone that can tell me about their own journeys in achieving goals similar to what I have for myself, to be able to visualize some parallels and draw my own conclusions. Goals don’t have to be super specific, but there needs to be enough information in order to be able to set a direction.

Insider Perspective

I define insider as someone who works in the same organization as you do, and preferably has tread the same path of growth as yourself. There is often a “way of things” at your workplace that you would benefit from knowing. It takes me back to my observation about how people will give you one-off conflicting advice on what they think you should be doing. But someone who is invested in your growth will really give you constructive feedback. If you’re a mentor to someone, your mentee will benefit from the same.

I once worked closely with a mentor within my organization who, because of the nature of our work, would sometimes be present in the same meetings or larger circles as me, and from our interactions over the course of a few months had become familiar with the work I do. As a result, they would give me great feedback like “I like your highlight of ABC in presentation and you should continue doing more of that” or “Make sure to pay close attention to the presenters in XYZ meeting series, since it will impact the work you will do next quarter”.

Outsider Perspective

Just as it is important to know how to navigate within your own organization, it is wise to have exchange of ideas with someone you trust outside as well. Like I pointed out previously, sometimes there is a “way of things” within your organization, and if you get too caught up in it you’ll probably lose out on different perspectives and other equally-right ways of doing things. Having that source of perspectives from the outside will also help you come up with creative solutions to issues you may be trying to solve day-to-day.

While I do admit to putting in a lot of work into steering my career in the direction I wanted, and trying to have control over it at all times, a huge part of having that insight and awareness is attributed to the mentors I’ve had. I thoroughly enjoy giving back in the form of my own time spent mentoring younger engineers. Oh, I get by with a little help from my mentor. Thanks for reading!