DEV Community: Catalin

My (abridged) Story

Catalin — Tue, 06 Jun 2023 19:43:59 +0000

In my youth, I faced the harsh reality of poverty. We lacked the basic luxuries like a TV or a car, and our crumbling trailer offered no respite from the biting winter cold. As a teenager, I lost my way, succumbing to drugs, theft, and a tumultuous cycle of group homes and correctional facilities. Among my small circle of best friends back then, only one remains alive today, the rest lost to various circumstances

At 16, due to constant transfers, the state lost all records of my academic credits, forcing me to drop out of high school. However, I refused to let this setback define my future. Determined, I obtained my GED at 18 and even earned a Deans Scholarship to our local community college, a testament to my intelligence. Yet, despite this opportunity, I lacked the wisdom to seize it.

Several years later, fate intervened in the form of my wife, whose stability and kindness brought much-needed solace to my tumultuous life. However, this newfound comfort also bred complacency within me. For more than a decade, I languished and failed to harness my potential, assuming that success and fulfillment would naturally fall into my lap. Predictably, they didn't.

At the age of 33, I began experiencing relentless head pain, accompanied by unbearable tinnitus and an array of neurological symptoms. My struggle to find competent doctors was an arduous one, but eventually, I received a diagnosis: IIH, an uncommon condition known as pseudotumor cerebri syndrome. Essentially, I had an excess of brain fluid pressure, necessitating multiple surgeries, including the insertion of a shunt to drain the fluid into my abdomen. During one of these surgeries, I suffered a brain bleed that nearly claimed my life.

As I gradually recovered, the stark realization of wasted years overwhelmed me, and I knew I had to take action. I applied to numerous entry-level jobs, but my lack of work history proved to be a significant hurdle. It was during this desperate search that I stumbled upon a life-changing Reddit post by Leon Noel. His mention of a free 36-week MERN bootcamp resonated with me, and I instinctively recognized it as my path forward. The booming tech industry seemed like the ideal niche for my skills and aspirations.

Undeterred by the challenges, I threw myself into the bootcamp, even persevering through brain surgery in the midst of it all. Along the way, I forged meaningful connections through networking and even received a job offer, which I declined, knowing it wasn't the right fit for me at that moment. Yet, despite these initial successes, I now find myself facing a similar predicament as before—confronted by reemerging barriers and struggling to find my place in the world. It often feels like an insurmountable task.

I understand that this account may appear self-pitying, but I want to leave you with a sense of persistence and perspective. Remember, many individuals strive to attain what you already possess. We all encounter obstacles and find ourselves in ruts, and comparing our struggles to others is ultimately unfair. Nevertheless, this comparison can sometimes offer a necessary perspective, helping us appreciate the achievements we have already attained.

The night before.

Catalin — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 01:50:40 +0000

As I anxiously await my brain surgery in the morning, I find myself going over the last six months journey learning to code. I've always believed that there is no such thing as a 'self-taught' anything. We learned from videos and classes and google searches that were formed by the people that came before us. Those people are our teachers and tonight, those people are on my mind.

The people that reach out and offer help not for clout, but because they genuinely understand that the incoming devs NEED them to succeed. Sure, there is a small bit of self-satisfaction in that action. But it's satisfaction in knowing they are genuinely making the world a better place and are better people through those actions. I love that kind of selfishness. And without it, I wouldn't be as close as I am to finally reaching that golden ring.

I've had the opportunity to meet some incredible people in tech through coffee chats. I've also had people ignore me and literally laugh in my face. So goes the tribulations of socialization. To be clear, we are owed nothing. We are guaranteed nothing. But there are wonderful people out there that will move mountains for us if we just have the guts to ask.

So, looking back, the most important thing I've learned during this time, even above coding, is to speak up. Advocate for your own needs. Put yourself out there because if you don't, you will never stumble into something great.

Blog, even when it's just nervous rambling. Post, even when it's just code snippets that helps 4 people. Ask for help, ESPECIALLY when you feel embarrassed about not knowing. Without those opportunities for connections, we will stagnate and fail.

Thank you for reading and I have much love for you.

I'm having brain surgery.

Catalin — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 16:54:59 +0000

Exactly one week from today, I will be going under to attempt to fix a fistula in my brain.

About three years ago, I started having daily headaches. At the time, I thought it was from stress, but they persisted. I went to my PCP at the time (I had no insurance) and they decided to try and treat me with anti-depressants, anxiety meds and a bit of scorn.

Turn out, that didn't work! I was finally able to push for an MRI which showed that my pituitary gland had been smashed from the fluid pressure in my head causing empty sella syndrome. My Dr. called it "clinically insignificant". I told him that my new neurologist and I would make that decision and promptly fired him.

The neuro then ran me through 6-7 drugs over the course of a year until I finally got him to sign off on a lumbar puncture to test the pressure in my brain and spine. To his (and only his) surprise, it was elevated to the point of an Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension diagnoses. Which, was great. But also meant more meds to try.

Over the course of a few more months, we tried meds to lower the amount of spinal fluid that I produced. They weren't seemingly working and covid was surging across the country quickly, shutting down hospitals to all but life saving surgeries. So I decided to push for a VP shunt to be placed in my head to regulate the pressure.

The neurosurgeon I spoke to agreed and on July 2nd, 2000 I had what amounts to a fancy straw stuck into my skull and ran down the inside of my body to dump excess fluid into my belly area. The surgery was a success! The results, not so much. Still, the headaches persisted.

So I continued searching for answers. This entire time, I had to advocate for myself. I was basically making the decisions Drs. should be making without even 1/100th the training they get. But good Drs don't live or stay in Kansas.

I finally end up getting referred to a radiological interventionist so I can have a brain catheter done to test pressures and to map out my brains circulatory system. They go up through your groin and poke around in your brain and you're awake for all of this. It's pretty intense.

He finds a fistula behind my right eye. Not a terrible one, but bad enough that it would be needing dealt with when I get older and given my symptoms, might even help now. Let's fix that with some glue and platinum coils!

This is not supposed to be a big deal surgery. I'm supposed to go under, but it shouldn't take more than 2 hours, max. I awake 6 hours later having a nurse literally vulcan death gripping me to get a response. Turns out, they created a hemorrhage on my brain. And in their work to keep me asleep to heal through that, they let my heart rate drop to around 20 and damn near lost me a couple of times. In the interest of brevity, we'll skip the horrendous treatment and lies that hospital gave me.

I make it out of there, lucky to not only be alive, but also nearly fully capable mentally. After a couple of more catheters to check, that Dr says he's completely fixed the issue. But my head still hurts.

Figuring out that my work wasn't done, I start looking for actual specialists in IIH in Kansas City. KU Med has one of the premier Drs that does a newer treatment for it, so I immediately schedule to see him. After getting him all of my images from Wichita he say, "I can CLEARLY still see the fistula on your old Drs images." He fixed nothing and nearly killed me while making a bag.

So, the gold standard treatment for the type of fistula I have is intense and gruesome. They basically cut from my ears, up into my hairline and peel down my forehead to access my brow bone and go in through there to staple it shut. It's 5 weeks of recovery though and I'm in the midst of transitioning into tech and changing my life. "Ain't nobody got time for that". There is however, a newer experimental way of dealing with it with a tiny little specially made catheter. The recovery time for that is a single day if all goes well. Sign me up for that one.

So, that's where I'm at. I'm trying to focus on learning and job hunting while being a week out from a surgery that I've had troubles with before, but could change my life.

If you read through this, thank you. I truly have love for you.