DEV Community: Harry Matvis

Burn, but don't get burned out: what is emotional burnout and how to deal with it

Harry Matvis — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 09:30:49 +0000

Emotional burnout creeps up, as a rule, imperceptibly. At first, you feel the usual tiredness in the evenings. It would seem to be no big deal: get a good night's sleep and go to work with renewed vigor. However, little by little, you feel more tired, you do not want to go out with friends, and any hobbies and activities tire you out. Sleeping no longer saves you, because you simply cannot fall asleep.

If you are familiar with the syndromes described above, we can congratulate you (or rather, sympathize with you), you have earned yourself an emotional burnout syndrome, the scourge of the 21st century and one of the worst mental disorders of a professional worker.

Not so long ago, the World Health Organization acknowledged burnout as an official disease, which means that you can and should fight it. In this article, we will consider how to avoid a situation when you feel sick at work, and what to do if you cannot avoid it.

It was nice while it lasted

Unfortunately, those professionals who love what they do are the prime candidates for burnout. They love what they do so much that they are willing to work from morning till night, 7 days a week. They are afraid of missing something important and are convinced that total control of the situation will solve the problem. These people are so deep into achievement and productivity that, over time, they forget even basic human needs, like eating or sleeping. People around them begin to notice strange changes in the person's behavior and try to tell him or her about it, but in vain — at the first stages, the only authority and motivator of a "burnt out" person is work. According to the theory of the German psychologist Dr. Matthias Burisch, this is the first phase of emotional burnout — the warning phase. If you realize that you are in this phase, you are lucky, because the worst can still be avoided. Your main task now is to understand that there are no irreplaceable people and that your work activity at 3 a.m. will not save the world. It's better to focus on yourself, your needs, and interests. Get more rest, exercise, travel. After all, learn to say "no" to anything that takes away your well-earned rest.

You never know what happens next

One day of your productive life, you wake up and realize something is wrong — either the tasks have become tedious, or the project is uninteresting, or your colleagues are annoying, or something else.

The apathy and confusion grow with incredible speed; you begin to break discipline at work; you lose concentration; you are late; you miss deadlines; you are rude to your colleagues. On top of all that, there is anxiety — you don't understand why you're no longer happy about something that you were really enjoying yesterday. Such syndromes cover two phases at once — reduction of own participation and destructive behavior. Having found yourself here, gather all your willpower and try to climb out of the clutches of burnout. You are unlikely to save yourself with an ordinary vacation, so you’ll need to work with a psychologist. A good specialist will help you find a way out of a difficult situation and get to the bottom of the reasons for your unhealthy productivity.

It’s real serious

Burnout runs so deep in our lives that it affects, not only our mental, but also our physical health. Blood pressure rises, there are pains, eternal insomnia, tachycardia and sexual disorders, immunity decreases. You completely lose the ability to relax in your free time. If you feel that your workaholism has led to health problems, immediately contact a medical professional and get it through your head that no job, even the most interesting and well-paying, is worth your health!

Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse…

At the last phase of burnout, despair, the syndrome reached its peak. One does not just hate his/her job and gets sick all the time spent at it, but starts to feel utter helplessness and despair. One feels that life has no meaning at all.

Usually, only a few people reach this stage, because now there are plenty of opportunities to track your emotional swings, from books to competent psychotherapists. We are deeply sorry if you have reached this stage of burnout, but there is a way out, as we know, from such a place; so you still have a chance for a healthy relationship with yourself and your work. Contact a competent specialist who specializes in burnout problems and has had experience working with such disorders. There will be a long road of recovery ahead of you, but we believe you can do it!

Healthy productivity checklist

As you've learned by now, burnout is a nasty thing, not easy to recognize, and even harder to deal with. To make sure you never have to find out what it's like to hate your job, we've put together a checklist to help you always stay resourceful and maintain a work-life balance.

Meditate for 15 minutes a day. Meditation is the easiest and fastest way to slow down and reduce stress. You don't need complex postures and expensive mats to meditate; the most important thing is to completely disconnect your brain from all problems.
Take a trip to nature. The best way to distract yourself is to change the picture that surrounds you. You don't have to fly to the ends of the earth. Even a two-day trip to the country can powerfully reset your head, and you'll come back refreshed and full of energy.
Plan your day. Chaos is the best friend of burnout, which means planning will help you avoid it. No one is forcing you to scribble miles of paper, but a little to-do list for each day will definitely save your nerves. Besides, there are a bunch of interesting techniques, like Pomodoro, 1-3-5, Pareto, and others.
Go see a psychologist. This trendy tradition of psychotherapy sessions is actually a very useful thing. Behind a burnout can be more than just fatigue, and instead of self-searching, it is better to work with a specialist. If you are afraid to start with a psychologist, at least listen to some useful podcasts.
Delegate tasks, if possible. Knowing how to let go of control of everything around you is a sure way to heal from burnout. In addition, everyone should do his/her own thing, in which s/he is an expert. And being an expert in absolutely everything is impossible. If you are not great with technology, there is no need to die in the mountains of instructions until the night; it is better to go to an experienced handyman. The same goes for household needs — there is no shame in calling in a cleaning service, ordering takeout, or hiring a babysitter.
Limit your intake of junk food. Eating junk food negatively affects, not only your appearance, but also your emotional state. We are well aware that in this way, you are trying to eat away stress; but it's a vicious cycle, which will not lead to anything good. Build a harmonious relationship with food and you will notice that you become less irritable and tired.
Go to the gym, or go dancing, or at least go for a walk. Movement improves blood flow in the brain area, and we become more positive and efficient.
Train yourself to fall asleep and wake up at the same time. Sleep is a powerful tool that allows you to completely reset your brain. However, remember that the brain is controlled by the "biological clock" (circadian rhythms), which are not made up. Get your sleep routine right — you'll also improve your relationship with work. If you don't get it yourself, get support from apps like pzizz.
Deep clean your home. Our heads often boil over, not only from the speed of life, but also from the clutter in it. Clean out your work email and phone gallery, unload your closet, and throw out everything that's dragging you down — dead weight. This also applies to people, by the way.
Change your workplace, from time to time. If you work in the office, ask your boss for a new desk. If you work remotely, move to another room, or to the balcony, or to a coffee shop! Changes, even small ones, have a positive effect on the brain, it starts to think faster.
Refuse to work overtime. In a healthy relationship with work, it is perfectly normal to refuse. You have the right not to take on additional tasks, not to work overtime, not to come to all meetings, not to participate in all projects. The first time, you will constantly feel guilty for imaginary unproductivity; but over time, the word "no" will become your best friend.
Don't read work chats after hours. The desire to be online 24/7 is the first call of burnout. Close your laptop and turn off all apps at the end of the day, and don't feel guilty about it in any way — everyone needs a rest.
Go out with your colleagues for a team building activity. One of the causes of burnout at work is often a bad team climate. A team-building activity with your colleagues is a cool way to share news and accomplishments, laugh, and even whine. In case of a stressful situation at work, it will help you to endure the stress more easily and get back to being productive.

Get a job you love. As Confucius once said, find a job that you fall in love with, and you won't have to work a single day in your life anymore. This quote can be considered the best cure for burnout, because a job you love inspires you, and where there is inspiration, there is no place for constant control and stress. If you feel that your work does not bring you joy, it's time to think about finding a new one! Of course, any field of activity requires knowledge and experience, so it is worth thinking about training. In the digital sphere, one of the most in-demand fields of the 21st century, there are many professions that you may be interested in.

In Osmi Pro, we offer courses for our students in digital professions from the ground up: QA specialist, data analyst, web-designer. All courses are designed in the most comfortable way possible: classes are held online, practice includes interesting tasks, and each student has a mentor. All of this keeps the feeling of stress and anxiety to a minimum, and we've already covered why this is important in the professional sphere.

The world around us is fixated on productivity, achievement, and getting the best result. In trying to catch up with the ideal and to become better than everyone else, one forgets about oneself and "burns out". We urge you to remember that work is not everything, there are many other areas of life in which it is important to be happy. Love yourself, take care of your needs, and do what you love. If you don't like your job, there is always a chance to start over. In 2022, you have all the resources to do this: look for yourself, learn new things, and live the life of your dreams!

Why devalue yourself: impostor syndrome

Harry Matvis — Tue, 05 Apr 2022 08:54:44 +0000

Disclaimer. Plenty of material has been written on this subject, so let's say, up front, we do know that not everyone recognizes the efficacy and necessity of psychotherapy. But everyone has their own truth.

The only thing more often mentioned now than imposter syndrome is probably burnout. Far too many people think they don't deserve their success — seven out of ten people have experienced this feeling.

Due to the fact that technology is constantly evolving, and the competition is enormous, the problem is also relevant for the IT sphere. This is where self-proclaimed "impostors" are overflowing: not all directions will succeed, for sure, and not all high-tech companies will become the new Facebook or Apple.

"Who are you anyway? You're just lucky! Soon, everyone will realize that you're nothing. You'll be fired, for sure; you don't belong here. Who are you trying to fool anyway?", and all that.

How to recognize it?

People with impostor syndrome believe that they are lucky enough to be in the wrong place. Their entire careers are not the result of their skills and performance, but merely the coincidence of circumstances. They also get paid for something they know absolutely nothing about. Are you doubting yourself too? Here's a test for impostor syndrome.

This kind of ambivalence is especially common in the intellectual professions. This is due to the fact that the cycle of product creation, or, conventionally, strategy development, can be stretched over time.

John, for example, is a network architect. A large company comes to him and says, "We want everything to work properly and not to slow down. We also want it to be easy to maintain and for YouTube videos to load quickly."

John first needs to survey the current network, collect feedback, figure out the details, form the ToR. Next, he needs to start the design stage, i.e. development of the engineering design. Then, implement it. It may take several years until the final stage, when everything works at the company.

The result is forward-looking and cannot be quick or tangible. John has plenty of time to feel like an impostor.

How does the syndrome manifest itself?

The syndrome usually manifests itself through three fears: failure, success, and exposure. Fear of failure is when you feel like a pretender and don't think you deserve your position, salary, and bonuses. It feels like those around you are mistaken.

The second fear is of success: "If I win or achieve something, I have to keep the bar high." It is because of this fear that there is a habit of justifying all of your achievements with trivial fortune. Next time, though, you might not be so lucky, and that's what's scary.

What fuels it all is another fear — exposure. It is when you think that sooner or later your colleagues will realize that you are incompetent.

Because of these fears, it can be difficult to accept compliments ("It was all Kate; I almost didn't participate."). Achievements are devalued: they say that the case was too easy and did not deserve attention ("Any fool can do that."). You are constantly comparing yourself to others ("Shane could have done better than me.").

Ma Sha Zo, Product Manager at Osmi Pro company

I still sometimes think all the good things that happen in the product are a credit to the team and everyone around me, but not mine. I, instead, was just standing on the side, saying not particularly clever thoughts out loud, so other clever people finished them, the team implemented, and all was done!

Where does the term come from and who does it refer to?

The term appeared in 1978. At that time, psychology professor, Pauline R. Clance, and clinical psychologist, Suzanne A. Imes, investigated the complaints of female college students, and then published an article "The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women". The bottom line is this: many successful women believed that they were not smart and that those around them overestimated them.

Until the nineties, it was thought that it only affected ladies, supposedly because of innate hypersensitivity. Later, it turned out that men also suffer from impostor syndrome, but they are less likely to admit it in public. They reveal themselves only in anonymous interviews and psychotherapy sessions.

Minorities, people with disabilities, and other groups exposed to affirmative action are also worried. Many of them think they got the job because they belong to a special social group, not because of their skills or abilities.

Two-thirds of the students who get into Harvard are convinced that their enrollment is the mistake the admissions office made. This is also often the case for students in postgraduate study, such as internships or retraining, and for beginning teachers.

The feeling that you don't deserve your success torments you, regardless of position, merit, or popularity. For instance, the founder of Atlassian (Jira, Confluence, Trello), Mike Cannon-Brookes, says that for him impostor syndrome is "a feeling of being well, well out of your depth, yet already entrenched in the situation." It is as if you lack knowledge and qualifications, and there is no way back and you have to look for a way out. It feels like something got away with it and is about to come out.

Many actors and actresses have experienced the syndrome: Tina Fey, Meryl Streep, Jim Carrey, Emma Watson, Tommy Cooper, Mike Myers, Kate Winslet, Penelope Cruz, Jessica Chastain, Natalie Portman. There are also screenwriter Chuck Lorre and writers Neil Gaiman and Maya Angelou.

In addition, Albert Einstein, who felt he was a fraud near the end of his life; COO and the first woman on Facebook's board, Sheryl Sandberg; ex-CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz; U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor; and former First Lady, Michelle Obama.

What is the reason?

The roots of the problem stem from childhood, of course. For example, in one family, parents label their children ("Stephanie is beautiful, and you, David, are smart.") and judge them differently. Then, they do not change their views, even though the "beautiful" Stephanie has opened her own pharmaceutical company by the time she is thirty, and the "smart", forty-year-old David works as a cashier in a supermarket.

In the second family, the relatives constantly idealize the child. As he grows up, he encounters difficulties and begins to doubt his parents' truth. However, he does not tell them about the difficulties, so as not to upset them, and constantly considers himself to be mediocre.

The syndrome may not manifest itself immediately. For example, Tom makes good money, has a wife and children he loves, and has his own apartment in Sidney. His boss is happy with him and regularly praises him, and his colleagues tell him how great he is. Then, his wife suddenly files for divorce.
Tom feels that he's not good enough, so he begins to look inside himself. He still works just as effectively, but he constantly thinks that if he loses his wife so easily, he might lose his job, too.

This is made worse by the social networks, where Tom's friends post everything positive. One got married, one became the boss, and one lives in the Maldives.

What is the danger?

Tom may have two reactions: either he will drop everything and stop presenting himself as successful (probably even start sabotaging his success), or he will try even harder and start working non-stop. Both are a great stress to the body.

So, for example, if Tom is an IT guy, he is aware of the risks, sees the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of his company or product. He is increasingly afraid to take on new tasks: he either postpones starting work, or he sets deadlines, trying to bring everything to perfection. He sets easier goals, no longer takes the initiative, leaks interesting proposals, and expresses his opinion less and less frequently. Sometimes, he can let go of the salary situation and ask for less than colleagues.

In addition, Tom may have addictions. Well yes, he procrastinates more often, smokes, and has a bottle of red before bed almost every day. He's just really tired. Chronically.

Constant nervous tension, fear of disclosure, thinking out moves for retreat, and living through imaginary failures inevitably lead to burnout. Additionally, there are frequent illnesses, apathy, problems in relations with colleagues and relatives, and withdrawnness. Tom can get to the point of sociopathy, neurological disorders, and even manic-depressive psychosis. Not the best prospect, is it?

What does it lead to?

It can also result in a regular thirst for approval, when you have to prove that you are really entitled to everything you have.Someone big and powerful — a boss, for example — has to praise or give positive feedback all the time. "Yeah, man, you did great! Such a project accomplished!".

Shi Fang,Producer of the Data Analyst course at Osmi Pro

Every time there are mistakes or flaws at work, I think, "I'm a bad producer. I'm not good at anything. Soon, everyone will realize I'm incompetent, and I'll get fired." After that, a period of hard and diligent work begins, in order to get rid of these thoughts, at least for a while. Strangely enough, positive cases do nothing to rid me of my "status" as an impostor. Sometimes, the approval of my colleagues and a constant desire to learn help. It is comforting to think that this is not with me forever. Soon (I hope it will be soon), I will learn to praise myself and respect my knowledge and skills.

Positive feedback is not particularly satiating, but only temporarily relieves anxiety. Soon, it returns, and the cycle repeats itself. It will be like that until you become perfect, so that no one will be able to complain.

"Imposters" are sure that it is possible to become perfect, in theory. They are obsessed with it. They're driven by the eternal pursuit of perfection, even though they're constantly praised and insisted upon by everyone around them for their awesomeness. Yet they believe that they are told all this, either because they are pretending to be perfect or out of pity.

You can get rid of the syndrome by seeing a psychotherapist. Therapy will help you begin to appreciate yourself and allow you to do what you love without endless worrying.

This syndrome, however, does have some advantages. "Imposters" are intellectually modest: they are aware that they don't know everything, and that's okay. They look at many situations through the eyes of a dilettante: they ask questions, try to improve and catch up. This is constant personal growth. The syndrome also controls the ego and keeps it from bloating.
App and website developers most often know that their product is not perfect, and are only committed to its release. Bugs can be fixed, but only in a product that has seen the light of day, not stuck in the polishing stage. Keep doing what you're doing is the best strategy.

In 2017, there was a crisis in South Australia. Elon Musk tweeted that Tesla could beat it with a 100-megawatt battery. Mike Cannon-Brooks responded, "How about launching the project in just a hundred days?". And all of a sudden, he started getting calls from reporters asking for his opinion as an energy expert.

Cannon-Brooks did not make excuses. Instead, he immersed himself in the issue and studied it in such a way that he was able to reason, calmly, about the capabilities of Tesla batteries. The battery system went live that same year..

Rita Aziz, Content Marketing Team Leader at Osmi Pro

When I fall into devaluation (which, in fact, is "imposter syndrome"), I remind myself that this is just a thought, just a way for my mind to protect itself from the fear of being judged by others. I realize that it's an illusion. I'm actually good and I have something to be proud of. So, I let it go. I also keep a separate photo album on my phone of commendation screenshots from employees, supervisors, partners, and contractors. In moments of doubt, I look through this archive. It's a great way to support myself.

It turns out that impostor syndrome can move forward, if it does not paralyze, but motivates. It is most prominent when you leave your comfort zone. Scared? Good. If you are scared, it means that something really important and weighty is happening.

All that matters is that you do something. Because many people do nothing, except suffer. Life is constant development, and stagnation is not OK at all.

Postscript

The crucial thing is not to confuse impostor syndrome with the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive distortion. Silly people do not have enough experience to assess how low their qualifications are. This is why they are convinced of their genius, even if they are not.

People with experience, by contrast, understand that they may have been wrong before. This causes them to think others are more competent, so they underestimate their abilities, even if they are right. Simply put, the less competent are more convinced that they are right, and vice versa.

Book on the subject: Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter?: How to Understand and Cope with Imposter Syndrome by Sandi Mann.