I'm a bit lost.

David — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 15:42:25 +0000

Not sure this is an 'appropriate' place for this, but I figure I'm a dev and this place is for dev related topics.

Like so many others, I've been in the job market for months. However, unlike others (I hope) I've been running into countless instances of illegal behavior.

I haven't dared say these things on my 'regular' platforms for reasons I'll get into later.

I guess a bit of relevant backstory first

I've been coding for over 20 and across several industries, all while "figuring it out". I've seen a great many things, built and fixed a great many others, and led and mentored other devs across time zones. It was tough in the moment, but I'm better for the struggle.

A little over 4 years ago I almost died from brain cancer and again from the surgery to remove it. I spent a month in the hospital recovering. Relearning how to walk, talk, and even swallow. I'm not sure when, but my amazing wife got something to click in my messed up head and light a fire under me that I've continued to stoke. That flame (determination) got me out of the hospital far faster than my medical team expected.

The next five-ish months I had a walker to get around and went through weeks of radiation, PT, and OT. I don't remember when I was capable of walking down my stairs to my office again, but I suspect it was after I graduated to only needing a cane.

I was able to come back to work before long-term disability kicked in, but had to come back slowly and with some accommodations. This was still mid-covid-lockdown, so I was able to be remote this whole time. My direct manager at this point was unfortunately promoted to the role 2 weeks before my leave. I have some management experience, so I felt bad for the position my situation put them in. At least until they started trying to write me up for things I had accommodations written for. When layoffs came around I was the only one on my team let go. I'm not saying I was let go because of my disability...just that it doesn't look good.

I had been at this company so long the severance was actually good. I don't hold any ill-will towards the company despite getting laid off.

"Ok, so don't let anyone know what I'm dealing with."

I spent 2 years at the next company moving between roles and even being moved pretty quickly to a lead role. No one knew about any of my issues or why I took whole days off for appointments (scan days bork my mental health). I still talk to my PM from there and finally just spilled the beans. Didn't change a thing between us - amazing. Two years in and the company gets acquired - all of us contractors are unemployed over night.

There were a couple of other contracts I was able to find since then, but I've been looking for my next role for months now.

FWIW - I'm still not able to drive safely or walk a straight line. Turning my head causes me to get vertigo (to over simplify things).

Welcome to the struggle bus!

Since finishing my last contract in early October I've been hit with one large life event after another. Like one or two per week - it's stupid. I can get into it in the comments, but not the point here. Just pointing it out for the context.

As I'm sure every dev who's in the job market these days is aware, just about everyone has switched to on-site or some form of hybrid. I used to have a 1+ hour commute every day, so I'm willing to do that. My body, on the other hand, says "no way".

In the last 6 months of being in the job market I've had a single experience where my inability/disability even felt handled humanely or with empathy. All other cases I've had the metaphorical door slammed in my face. Including a local company built on a religion that states followers should take care of the sick, disenfranchised, etc..

My frustration

I keep getting a "we really want this candidate to come into the office X days per week. Sorry."

I tell them I understand their position, which is true, and thank them for their time. I figure I don't want to work at a company that is this ignorant and unwilling to even consider reasonable accomodations.

Thinking back to all of these sorts of statements I find myself thinking something like "Well that's all fine, but I don't get a choice."

I don't know that I'm capable of articulating the level of frustration and feeling of helplessness from this situation in a way that the mods here will find acceptable. I'm being turned down because of my disability (inability to safely drive) and can't do anything about it.

I worry about saying anything on my 'regular' platforms for any sort of 'backlash'. Being a dev is essentially a purely cognitive role. My concern about posting about it is the concern from potential future employers thinking I'm not capable due to having brain damage.

I might actually be more capable since my surgery. I find that I'm able to think more clearly these days.

4 years ago I had weaponized my neurodivergence. I'm working on doing the same with my brain cancer stuff.

For that matter, I launched my own SaaS a bit after my last contract finished, if anyone's interested in a post on that. 😉

TL;DR

Basically everyone I talk to employment-wise breaks federal (US) ADA and anti-discrimination laws and I don't know how to handle it.

It's disgusting that I'm even in this situation and my heart goes out to those in similar and worse situations. It's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.