Purple is (now) my favorite color

Marilia — Thu, 10 Mar 2022 16:17:17 +0000

Ah, the sweet sight of all my past due modules!

This is what is greeting me anytime I log in to my bootcamp's website to work through the courses.

When I started the bootcamp, I started falling behind very quickly, I caught up, then I got sick with what I believe was COVID, then I caught up, then I fell behind again... you catch my drift, haha!

Although my real graduation deadline is set for June 8th, I can ask for a 3 month extension, after which if I don't graduate, I'll be permanently kicked out from the program.

In the beginning, I was under a lot of stress. I had a lot of things going on in my personal life, I was working, doing this bootcamp, taking care of my son, then I got sick, and then the hives started showing up in my body! No lie, I developed this 'stress allergy' when I was pregnant with my son, and this is just one of the wonderful souvenirs I've been left with postpartum(my son being the very best out of all of them, haha!)

The sight of the words "Past due" in purple was really getting to me. Any time I used a purple pen to write anything all that would flash in my brain was "PAST DUE." I'd try to go to sleep and the last thing I'd remember before falling asleep was "past due" all in purple. It was something like out of a cartoon or something, now that I think about it.

Since this program is remote, and self-paced, at the time I wasn't really speaking much with my cohort. Then I got sick with COVID and I was very open about how I'm stressed about how behind, and I asked if anybody else is struggling, and lo and behold! Everybody started sharing how they are also behind or have been struggling understanding the material. Some of my classmates are 5 modules behind, others are closer to 10 modules behind. Although this bootcamp is 'self-paced', they still expect you to put in a minimum of 30 hours of work, as well as have 30 minute sessions with your mentor twice a week.

One of my classmates shared a screenshot of the contract we signed in the beginning, and there I saw about the 3 month extension for our graduation date. Immediately I felt my body relax, I felt like I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Although that extension does come with strings attached... of course! We lose our "money back"/"loan forgiveness" guarantee if we don't graduate by our actual deadline, but that is future Marilia's problem!

Since the day I read those words, purple is now one of my favorite colors.

Am I Smart Enough?

Marilia — Sun, 27 Feb 2022 05:21:58 +0000

Prior to deciding I wanted to be a software engineer, I was a fashion designer, real estate photographer, grocery store cash office clerk, etc etc. Name a career/study path and most likely I've considered studying it or actually and started just never finished.

For some reason (money lol) I got the itch that I wanted to study software engineering, specifically focusing on web3 development. So off to Coursera I went to take a web3 course not realizing I needed to already know a programming language (JavaScript in this case).

Once I saw I needed to create a coupon bazaar website using JavaScript I went to good ol' Youtube University and typed in "JavaScript tutorials for beginners" and let me tell you... was I completely lost trying to understand what the person was saying. Knowing myself, and knowing that if I went down the self-taught path I would never actually learn any programming languages I decided to look into bootcamps. Some of the bootcamps I found have crazy strict guidelines for accepting students, others have horrible reviews all over the web, but thankfully I found a bootcamp that I felt was welcoming enough to anybody wanting to learn programming AND had better than average reviews.

The first week I did well, went through the simple introductory module, and I was on top of the world. Then came the 2nd, 3rd, 4th.... modules and all the confidence I had was gone.

Granted I was working part-time, taking care of my son full-time, as well as doing any chores that needed to be done around the house, but I started falling behind on my coursework, and quickly! I was so stressed I developed an allergy, and to top things off my first mock interview with a bootcamp mentor went horribly... I could not even write a simple function and the feedback I got left me feeling defeated.

I started questioning whether I am even smart enough to switch careers from being a photographer/designer to software engineering. I was never good at math or problem solving, and I certainly do not think rationally or logically in the way "engineers" do.

The past 3 months have been very difficult for me in regards to coding; sometimes I do well solving the problems on my own, but quite often I don't even know what the assessments are asking of me, and if I do understand the question, I don't know how to even start solving it. The bootcamp does a well enough job of introducing us to the basics needed to get a job, but I often find myself looking to outside resources over and over again on Youtube, Google, Github forums... and I feel like I still don't understand what is going of half of the time. I know that I have only been learning how to code a very short amount of time, but I just would like to know if things will ever stick in my brain, and when they do, will I understand what I'm even doing?

I've decided I'm going to keep a digital journal of my journey in case I am a senior developer 10 years down the line, that way I can look back on how I started and what things were like for me in the beginning. I also want to find individuals like me who come from artistic backgrounds, who have a lot going on in their lives, and are making the sacrifice of having a social life, having hobbies, just so they can code 12 hours a day.

Over the next few weeks I am going to concentrate on doing projects unrelated to coursework from the bootcamp to see if one of these tutorials will be the key to me understanding coding!

DEV Community: Marilia

Purple is (now) my favorite color

Am I Smart Enough?