Bad Poetry Inspired by Bad Design Patterns

Caye — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 07:46:00 +0000

Hi folks! This is #5 of my Substack newsletter, Dev Dictionary. Feel free to subscribe to receive new posts and support my work. (Cover photo by Rachel from Unsplash)

There’s a term for the way you’re blasted with tons of marketing emails after overlooking that checked-by-default checkbox — you just fell for a deceptive design pattern. It was coined in 2010 by user experience designer Harry Brignull, but they’ve been bugging humankind for possibly longer.

deceptive (adjective)

• tending or having power to cause someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid : tending or having power to deceive (Merriam-Webster, 2022)

• deceptive design patterns (also called dark patterns): tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things that you didn’t mean to, like buying or signing up for something (deceptive.design, 2022)

Nowadays, dark patterns are even more rampant. How do we call everyone’s attention, especially those of regulators, to companies unashamedly benefiting from deceiving their users? Some ideas:

Call them out on social media for awareness.
Put them up in a Hall of Shame.
Write poems about them. (Wait, what?)

I’m resorting to the third option in honor of National Bad Poetry Day. Sit down, relax, and enjoy some dark patterns-inspired limericks. (Whether they’re passably bad is up to you, but the fact that they’re inspired by evil makes them… bad poems by default.)

I. Warning My Hobbyist Grandfather About Privacy Zuckering

There was a pale man from White Plains,
Who mined everyone’s data for his gains.
If you do not opt out
Of personalization, no doubt —
You’ll be targeted by ads of model trains.

II. One-Two Punch: Misdirection and The Roach Motel

There was once a young man from Rizal,
Who wanted to cancel Adobe’s free trial.
He opened his account,
Only to find out,
He’ll owe thousands if he does — tragical.

Deceptive Design

@darkpatterns

How Adobe tricks users into a 12 month contract.

Thread.

10:00 AM - 05 Feb 2022

Matt Tee

@matt__tee

@darkpatterns Same thing happened to me, but I figured out a hack to avoid paying the exit fee. Instead of cancelling the plan, I switched to a cheaper plan on the “free trial”. Then cancelled within the “free trial” period and managed a clean getaway. 😏

20:56 PM - 05 Feb 2022

III. Duo, Save Your Tears — It’s Just Italian

There once was a green owl in a screen,
Who was invested in my language-learning.
When I checked my mail,
After being gone for a day,
Dio mio, the bird won’t stop crying!

Henry Birdseye

@henrybirdseye

jesus christ @duolingo that's one hardcore email campaign

22:47 PM - 11 Apr 2016

More from Dev Dictionary

array (n.) • async (adj.) • deceptive (adj.) • hamburger (n.) • terminal (n.)

Tweets

Human-Centred AI at Oxford

@oxhcai

Do you get annoyed by devices using a chatty tone to shame you or talk to you in a rude, patronising, or manipulative way? Ever experience other tactless/offputting behaviours in automated things that speak to you as if they're people?

If so, we need your examples! (1/2)

12:11 PM - 13 Aug 2022

Ben

@nurodev

How nice of you to hide the unsubscribe link @MoonpigUK

08:30 AM - 17 Aug 2022

Deceptive Design

@darkpatterns

Left spider: VP of Growth
Right spider: UX Lead twitter.com/harrybr/status…

09:32 AM - 14 Aug 2022

Harry Brignull @harrybr
"If We Pull This Off, We'll Eat Like Kings." https://t.co/a2IulJt8T5

Stephen Farrugia

@fasterandworse

UX design is misleading in how it uses the User word to mask the Business word. That's why it's a vanity role for employers. Here's the realities of what the role entails in a graph.

14:43 PM - 23 May 2022

Daniel Burka

@dburka

Do you (still) believe that design is a force for good in the world?

14:26 PM - 08 Aug 2022

Recommendations

📺 Dark Patterns: How design seeks to control us by Sally Woellner (TEDxSydney, 2022)
📺 The Social Dilemma (Netflix, 2020)
📖 7 Famous Limerick Examples That Will Inspire You to Write Your Own by Chloë Nannestad (Reader’s Digest, 2021)

If shenanigans like this are your cup of tea, feel free to subscribe to Dev Dictionary 💌 (Them bars!)

And if this inspired you to make your own limericks, feel free to comment them below!