DEV Community: Rollercoaster Dev

Weekend Foray into Digital Ocean

Rollercoaster Dev — Mon, 18 May 2020 11:28:18 +0000

Digital Ocean

Getting this blog set up is my first foray into cloud hosting. Until now I’ve been using Netlify as all of the full-fledged sites I’ve made have been built with Gatsby. My very first hosted site is a little React app running on Firebase and I’ve got some small projects from various courses on Heroku. I had tested out Ghost first on my Development server, which is an old MacBook Pro running Ubuntu Server 18.04. I love working with servers. I’ve been setting up WordPress servers on Raspberry Pi’s for years. I even developed and implemented a project around setting up educational servers in refugee shelters here in Germany.

Getting everything set on Digital Ocean up was so easy. There’s a one click Ghost droplet ready to go. Then I just had to set up my domain and email which was also a cakewalk. The coolest part was, after I’d gotten the site up and running with a couple of posts, I found a signup link with $100 credit. I’d been wanting to try out getting a discourse server up and running and was failing on my dev server, so I signed up under a new email address to get the $100.

The Discourse server was also easy to set up. It’s a docker container setup that installs from their GitHub. I got it running but I was having trouble getting the email to work because the DNS management was on my other account. In hindsight, it wouldn’t have been a problem, but I wanted to see if I could migrate the Ghost server over to the account with the $100.

I powered down the Ghost server and took a snapshot. It only took a couple of minutes and then I powered it back up. I didn’t have to google any of this because the Digital Ocean UI is so intuitive! I clicked on the “More” arrow to the left of my snapshot and saw “Change owner” and sent it to the other account. From the other account I spun it up, went back to the first one downloaded the Zone file and removed the domain, set it up on the new account, added the Zone data back in and everything was up and running perfectly! There were NO problems!

So now my Discourse server and my Ghost server are on the same account and I can easily manage the DNS. This made it super easy to get my Mail setup. I had a little bit of a problem getting discourse to talk to Zoho mail. But after a little discourse forum research, I found I needed to use port 587 instead of 465 (which was working fine for Ghost).

I’m am really enamored by how easy this all was. It’s going to be hard not to spin up random servers just to try things out. It’s so easy just to ssh into them, get VSCode Remote Explorer going on them and build cool stuff!

Folding @ Home

If you haven’t heard about Folding @ Home yet, I’m very excited to introduce you to it because it is one of the coolest projects ever.

Folding@home (FAH or F@h) is a distributed computing project for simulating protein dynamics, including the process of protein folding and the movements of proteins implicated in a variety of diseases. It brings together citizen scientists who volunteer to run simulations of protein dynamics on their personal computers. Insights from this data are helping scientists to better understand biology, and providing new opportunities for developing therapeutics.

Basically, you can add your computer to this giant worldwide supercomputer and help solve the complex problem of protein folding which is used to find cures for diseases from Covid-19 to Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and Cancer.

I’ve installed it on my personal laptop, and it runs whenever I’m not using it and the computer is plugged in. And while I was getting the servers set up on Digital Ocean I saw they had a Droplet ready to go. Now the $100 I got at sign up has a bit of a catch. It expires in 60 days. My two little droplets are going to cost me at $5 each a month totaling $20. That leaves me with $80 to play with. I figure rather than let it go to waste I might as well use the credit for some good.

So I spun up a 4 CPU F@H droplet for $20, set it up to run on my username and It’s been folding away. I’m tempted to set up accounts across all my emails and use the $100 credits purely for F@H.

Managing Goals

Rollercoaster Dev — Sun, 17 May 2020 16:12:02 +0000

What can I do to make sure I’m stretching myself while working towards my goals, without overextending myself?

I’m not totally sure, to be honest. I do know I tend to set high, overzealous goals or too many small ones at once. For example, I went into rehab with the expectation that I was going to be able to come out ready to take the German C2 test (that’s the highest possible language certification), have finished the Node.js course I’d starts and build my first REST API, get my 5k under 20 min. You’ll notice that actually “recovering” wasn’t in there.

At first, my therapist was also down with my big goals. They were S.M.A.R.T. and genuinely seemed attainable. The first week however showed me that recovery had other plans with me. I had started running and was also in the running training program that they had at the clinic. My first 5k in years cam in at 24 min. I was very stoked about this. That was as good as I was in high school and I never really tried there. I kept it up but noticed that my left heel was hurting every morning. This got progressively worse. I finally got to an orthopedic and was diagnosed with heel spurs. No more running.

We all went through a bunch of different tests for cognitive abilities, attention span, etc... I went in and sat in front of the computer for what looked to be genuinely easy tests. I quickly changed my mind. I felt a bit like I was watching myself from the outside as I did worse and worse on these stupid tests. Why can’t I do this! Tears were welling up in my eyes, my anxiety growing, and heart rate was climbing. I was really shaken up walking out of there.

I’d never been tested for ADHD. I was asked a bunch of questions when I was twelve and that was it. I’d also stopped taking medication for it when I came to Berlin in 2003. My girlfriend who was a psychology major convinced me I didn’t need it, so I stopped.

A day or two after the tests I had my one on one with my therapist. She seemed surprised by the results of the test. I had severe concentration problems. I feel like a lot of it was the fact that my body was still adjusting to not being full of alcohol and drugs, it was a new situation that was stressful as well. I didn’t know anyone, and I was truly exhausted. But, I also finally had the diagnosis that had been missing the last 16 years in Germany. I have ADHD.

After some emotional ups and downs caused by frustration with the systems in place at the clinic, and my inability to focus on any of the goals I had set for myself, my therapist recommended that I drop everything and focus solely on my recovery. I was a little reluctant, but I knew she had a point. I need to sort this out before I can effectively do anything else.

And that’s what I did in my obsessive was. I began consuming book after book about recovery and stories of addicts who’d changed their lives. I would take time out and just sit outside and be. I hadn’t given myself space like this since I can’t remember. The 15 weeks flew by after I made the switch.

I’ve been out since December and have done a decent job of keeping up those lessons that I learned. I’m more careful about what I take on whether it be personal goals or from others. But I’m far from perfect. I decided to make a website for the German chapters of one of the recovery groups I regularly attended. I dove in headfirst, learned Gatsby and Sanity.io, both of which I’d never used before. After two weeks I had a nice informative website with a mini-blog and an updateable meetings page. But I was also burnt out. I had put in over 100 hours on that website over those two weeks. I was also leading the Sunday meeting and organizing the Inter-group meeting. I’d taken on too much again.

That’s what I need to avoid. I need to figure out a way to keep tabs on the tasks I take on during this Bootcamp. I need to prioritize my goals and make sure that anything I add to that list doesn’t detract from the main goal, finishing the Bootcamp to the absolute best of my ability.

What are my goals?

Finish the bootcamp.
- Take quality notes every day
- Finish each assignment on time and to a high quality
- Make connections and work well with others
Document my journey
- Post notes and projects daily on blog
- If possible, present them as lessons (can always be done later)
- If possible, translate to German (can always be done later)
Share journey on twitter
- Make genuine interaction a priority
- Limit time to 1hr per Day

I think that’s good. By achieving those goals, I believe I will greatly increase the chances of getting a good job. That set of goals will come next.

If you’ve read this and enjoyed it, follow me @RollerDev. I’d really love to hear from you.

Come Ride the Rollercoaster

Rollercoaster Dev — Fri, 15 May 2020 15:06:23 +0000

What it feels like to be Bipolar

Imagine a world where you get regularly swept up in waves of euphoria that can last from days to months. You feel, with all that you are, that you can do anything. Often in these times, you will start a project and hyper-focus on it. Learning or working an incredible amount in a short period of time. You know, what you are doing will change the world and it becomes all you can talk about it. You are obsessed. If you happen to be lucky enough to finish the project while in this state. Everything is amazing! You learned or did something new and it’s good, no great, AMAZING!

Eventually the feeling fades. It becomes harder to concentrate. You can’t concentrate. A weight settles in on your chest, your thoughts are like pea soup, nothing gets through. If you hadn’t finished the project yet, you can forget it now. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway; it was a useless idea from a useless human being. You don’t know why you even try; you always just end up back here. You’ll never make a difference.

That’s been my life since I was a child. I’m finally on medication that is working and I’m more stable than I ever have been. The ups and downs aren’t gone, but they are manageable. I can make it through a depression without giving up on whatever I’m working on. It may require a pivot or a break, but I can come back to it and keep going.

Why am I doing this?

This blog and the Rollercoaster Dev Twitter account are a pivot. I’m currently in a light depression. It’s really annoying because I’m actually really happy to be where I am and doing what I’m doing. But the chemicals in my brain make me feel otherwise. If you’ve ever done any “recreational drugs” (I am in no way condoning the use of recreational drugs, as a recovering addict I strongly advise against them) especially MDMA or Ecstasy, it’s a lot like a comedown that lasts days, weeks or months. This means that I lack the concentration now for learning and coding. After building a full stack website last month in two weeks during manic phase, the depression came as I finished it up and I quickly noticed how hard everything suddenly was. I needed a way to keep me working towards my goal and writing still works.

When I made the decision to go into Web Development, I knew I was going to have to get my shit together. I had to get clean from drugs and alcohol (my self-medicating and recreational use had turned into a serious addiction) so I could get on mood stabilizing medication to treat the Bipolar, so I could get on medication to treat the concentration problems caused by my ADHD. And that’s what I’ve been doing the last year. The medications are helping and I’m finally stable enough to get a prescription for my ADHD. Just in time for the bootcamp.

Through all these ups and downs I’ve managed to keep consistently learning. I wanted to learn everything they would teach in a bootcamp before I went to the bootcamp because any kind of school scares the shit out of me. Imagine going through mood swings like I described above and puberty and the social mess of High School at the same time. I got my GED and got out of there as fast as I could. But I’m still worried that I might not make it through the bootcamp. So, I prepared.

I now feel certain that they aren’t going to throw much my way I haven’t already done or at least read about. I did it this way to make it as easy on myself as possible. Now I can concentrate on documenting my learning and making all my projects for the course as awesome as possible. And that will happen here.

Why share on Twitter?

I’d been told that twitter was great for the maker scene and I should get on. I’ve had an account since 2009 but never really used it. Once the Corona lockdowns hit, I decided to get back on Twitter and see what was going on. I’ve been totally blown away by the incredibly supportive community Tech Twitter is! People help each other out, give support, are incredibly honest and even show vulnerabilities! This is not the social media I’ve known on Facebook (deleted my account) and Instagram doesn’t come close to the community feeling.

While I’d tried being open about my mental health struggles, I was constantly worried about how it might affect my future job opportunities and I kept holding back, deleting tweets, not commenting things I really wanted to say.

I was setting up this blog and the title Rollercoaster Dev popped in my head and I knew, that was it. New Twitter, new blog. Keep it anonymous but give it everything, be totally honest and focused on learning and my struggles. And I figured, I’m going to try and use this platform to get a job. If that works, I can put my name on it.

Why is it so Important to be open about Mental Health Issues?

I loved my last job. I was doing something that had a measurable positive impact. But me being me, I always felt like I wasn’t enough. Some people might call this imposter syndrome, for me it was real, no syndrome. I had a GED, nothing else, I used to be a musician and a Bartender, suddenly I’m developing digital education projects for a huge NGO? I felt so very lucky to have landed there but it created a lot of anxiety. I was constantly worried about my Depression showing, my mania being to much, not having a degree and not knowing all the jargon. I kept all my anxieties hidden and bundled up. I was reading everything I could find on the subject, staying up late nights learning and researching. That’s a lot of work, and after work I’d be so exhausted from it all and needed to unwind without unbundling the feelings of incompetency and anxiety. Alcohol and drugswere an easy way to do this.

I never want to have to do that again. I want to be open about my struggles so that when I do have a problem, I can own it, address it and move forward. I think this is the only way I will be able to make it in this industry. I see the complexities, the non-stop learning, if I don’t own my problems, they will own me again.

Accountability

Learning in public is the ultimate accountability tool. If I don’t do what I posted I would, anyone can see it. If I did, everyone could see it! Also, I need more cheerleaders. Nobody understands this journey better than other Devs! So, this is me asking for your support, cheer me on, hold me accountable and help me out. I promise to do the same for you. No one gets where they are alone, so let’s get better together.

That got a bit cheesy there, but I really mean it. Come ride the Rollercoaster!

The OctaPi Project

Rollercoaster Dev — Thu, 14 May 2020 20:15:55 +0000

What the heck is an OctaPi?

I’m so very glad you asked this question. An OctaPi is a cluster of eight Raspberry Pi computers running as servers with a Client Raspberry Pi controlling them. The Raspberry Pi foundation (easily one of the greatest computing learning foundations ever created!) has some great tutorials, which I dutifully followed, here.

Why would you do this?

First of all, because I had the Raspberry Pi’s just sitting in a box all left over from other projects. But In Feb. of 2019, several things had come together forcing me to decide about the rest of my life. I suffer from Bi-Polar Disorder and ADHD. Living life, working a normal job, going to school don’t come easy to me. Over the years I went from self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, to having a serious addiction.

I’d been working a dream job for an international NGO setting up computer-labs, training caregivers and teaching children in refugee shelters in Germany. After that project had ended I was given six months to develop the next digital education project. Through a lot of research for the last project, I already had an idea of what I wanted to do. I pitched the idea of a Makerspace, designed and built by kids in a disadvantaged area. This would then serve as a development hub for a Digital Education Platform where the kids are involved in every step of the development. Big plans, I know. But I dove in and had found a school that was excited about the idea, I’d workshopped the App prototype with a development agency. Everything looked good from my side.

But, at the end of 3 years my contract wasn’t going to be renewed due to a lack of funding. I knew I needed to make a big change. I’d been able to keep things going and pretty level at this job for three years (meaning I hadn't needed to go into the hospital for the depression or mania). I’d never stuck to anything outside of music for that long. And I’d learned a lot. I’d been teaching kids basic HTML, CSS, Scratch and Python. Somewhere along the line I discovered FreeCodeCamp.org and was not only using it for the kids, but I’d started powering through all of the lessons.

It was because of FreeCodeCamp and the research I’d done about the platform. I felt I could get there; I could build this thing if I buckled down and … I remembered my Bi-Polar, ADHD, Alcohol and Drug Addicted self and thought, it’s time to get this under control.

I battled with this for months over the holidays. I tried to reduce my drinking and use of drugs only to rebound worse and worse. A friend had gotten clean and had written me that he had 72 days without drugs or alcohol. I realized I hadn’t managed more than four weeks clean once or twice since 2008.

In February it got bad enough that I saw I didn’t have any control over it, and I gave up. I saw I could not do this alone, period. I needed help. I called my friend and asked him what I should do. He gave me over to another friend in his self-help group who had just been through detox and rehab. He walked me through my options and recommended a hospital to go to and I went.

Getting clean

I checked into the hospital on the 14^th of February 2019. I snuck my laptop and an LTE router in with me (we weren’t supposed to have them, but I was learning React!). During those three weeks I built my first React app. It's a day counter that adds a circle to a circle for every day that I’m clean. I’m proud to say that I haven’t had to reset it once.

After I was out I was waiting for a spot to open up at a rehab clinic. I kept learning react and quickly realized I really needed to learn JavaScript before I could effectively learn React, so I want deep into JS. I worked through the responsive web design and JavaScript certifications of FFC, I finished several Udemy courses and build a ton of little projects. From there I went on to a Node.js Udemy course and was really enjoying the backend.

But then came the Rehab. I had planed on doing 100 different things. I was going to improve my German, finish my Node.js course, go running every day and, and, and. Rehab had different plans for me. I was forced to calm down (I was manic most of the time here) and focus on me. I wrote my life story in bad German. It ended up being 24 pages long. I looked at the facts about my life growing up and realized how painful and truly traumatic they were. The things I experienced weren’t normal, but it’s ok now. I had the space to be with me and my inner child and come down and just be. I’d been going to a Buddhist based recovery group and the book I’d brought with me was the biggest help of all. I was learning to be compassionate and patient with myself.

Back to the “Real World” and Python

Coming out of 15 weeks of rehab is stranger than you can probably imagine. It was December and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was on Lithium since June, so I was feeling more level than I had, maybe ever. But I still felt a bit lost. I took a chair position in the self-help group and really enjoyed it. The little bit of responsibility really gave me my footing back.

I was having a tough time getting back into learning JavaScript. I don’t know why but I had a block there for some reason. But I saw this box of Raspberry Pi’s left over from teaching and remembered how I’d always wanted to build a Cluster. I’d never done any Parallel or distributed programming, but it totally fascinated me. So, I counted them up, I had six Raspberry Pi 3b’s and three Raspberry Pi 3b+’s, PERFECT!

At first, I followed the Raspberry Pi Tutorials. They are great and I totally recommend them! And once I got everything installed and running, I started going through a tutorial on getting Kubernetes up and running on a RPi cluster. Then came an interesting job opportunity at Soundcloud. They were reopening their Developer Training program and I really wanted to get into that. In the end I should have doubled down on my JavaScript or Python skills, but I’d read that they had moved their backend from a Ruby Monolith to Scala Microservices. After a bit of research on Scala, I learned that because of it’s strong typing, immutability and being built for functional programming, it was also very good at parallel and distributed programming, meaning it was perfect for my new project! I was hooked.

const LearnScala extends App {}

I loved Scala from the very beginning. It was hard! I’m not saying that I’m great at Python or JavaScript, but while learning them, I never felt really challenged. I also had never learned a language to the depth I felt like I was learning Scala. Creating my first Linked List class was awesome! But it is hard. I managed to get through a great Udemy Course Rock the JVM and did Functional Programming Principles with Martin Odersky, the creator of Scala.

But when it came time to do the online programming challenges to get into the program, Scala was not an option. I did everything in JavaScript but was so stuck in the Scala mindset that I was doing tail recursive functions and writing probably very inefficient JavaScript. Needless to say I didn’t make it into the program. I am however thankful for the chance to deep dive into a new Language, even if it might be a while before I can use it.

From here on out

This June I start at Spiced Academy. I’m really looking forward to deepening my HTML/CSS & JavaScript Node.js skillset. I plan on building the prototype for the Learning Platform and finding a place to start testing it. The OctaPi is an important metaphor for me. It’s built up of things I’ve used to teach. They were all jumbled and set aside in a box, Now it stands tall and proud on my desk, A symbol of the future I’m building for myself. One where I build the software that helps others teach and learn.

And of course, blinky lights and rainbows.