DEV Community: Rusty Pea

Update: I Still Haven’t Started Coding, but I Bought a New Laptop (LOL)

Rusty Pea — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 02:45:00 +0000

First of all, thank you.

I genuinely did not expect my last post to get the kind of response it did. I thought maybe a few people would read it, nod quietly, and move on. Instead, I opened Dev.to and found encouragement, personal stories, advice, and a surprising amount of kindness from strangers on the internet.

That alone deserves acknowledgment.

If you are curious, this post is a follow up to something I shared earlier about being 38, wanting to learn coding, and not starting yet.

Here is the original post:

https://dev.to/rustypea/i-am-38-i-am-a-nurse-and-i-have-always-wanted-to-learn-coding-2375

So… Did I Start Coding?

Short answer: no.

Longer, more honest answer: not yet, but something did happen.

A lot of people asked if I had started learning, what language I picked, what course I chose, or how my “Day 1” went.

None of that happened.

What did happen is I finally admitted something I had been ignoring for a while.

My laptop was ancient.

About That Laptop

When I say old, I do not mean “a little slow.” I mean it was from 2015 and behaved like it was emotionally exhausted by modern websites.

Opening a browser took commitment.

Opening multiple tabs felt reckless.

And any fan noise sounded like a warning.

Somewhere along the way, my laptop became a very convenient excuse. Not the main excuse. Just a reliable one.

So I did the most productive non productive thing possible.

I bought a new laptop.

That is the update.

No coding montage. No screenshots of a terminal. Just a brand new laptop sitting on my desk, clean, quiet, and full of expectations I did not ask for.

Why This Actually Felt Like Progress

I know how this sounds.

Buying a laptop is not learning to code. It is not even opening a tutorial. It is dangerously close to procrastination disguised as productivity.

But for me, it mattered.

For years, this idea lived only in my head. No tools. No setup. No signal to myself that this was even slightly real. Just a recurring thought I kept postponing.

The new laptop changed that.

It removed one excuse. Not all of them. Just one. But that was enough to make the idea feel less theoretical.

Now, when I think “I could start,” there is an actual device in front of me that says, “You could. Or you could scroll. But at least be honest about which one you are choosing.”

Reading the Comments Did Something to Me

What surprised me most was how many people shared versions of the same story.

People who started later.

People who were scared.

People who waited years before touching their first line of code.

I had been treating my hesitation like a personal flaw. Like I was behind or doing something wrong. Seeing how common this feeling is changed that perspective.

It did not magically make me brave.

But it did make me feel less alone.

Where I Actually Am Right Now

I am still a nurse.

I am still 38.

I still have not written a single line of code.

But now I have:

a new laptop
fewer excuses
and a slightly different relationship with the idea of starting

I am not trying to prove anything. I am not racing anyone. And I am not pretending this is the beginning of some dramatic transformation.

It is just one small, slightly awkward step that felt honest.

Final Thought

If you commented on the last post, please know this.

Your words mattered more than you probably expected. Even without starting yet, something shifted internally. And sometimes that part takes longer than downloading a course or picking a language.

For now, I am sitting here with a new laptop, an open browser, and no big announcements.

Just a quiet acknowledgment that this idea is no longer living entirely in my head.

And honestly, that feels like enough for now.

I Am 38, I Am a Nurse, and I Have Always Wanted to Learn Coding

Rusty Pea — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 01:43:40 +0000

I am a nurse.

I am 38 years old.

And I have not started coding yet.

But I have always wanted to.

That want has followed me quietly for years. It shows up when I hear people talk about building things from nothing, when I see software solving real problems, and when I wonder what is actually happening behind the screens I use every day.

I never acted on it. Not once.

Why I Never Started

It is easy to tell yourself stories that sound reasonable.

I told myself I was too busy.

I told myself I picked the safe path already.

I told myself coding was for people who started young.

None of those were completely true.

The real reason was simpler and harder to admit. I did not want to be a beginner again.

In nursing, experience matters. Confidence matters. People trust you. In coding, I would have none of that. I would be slow, confused, and constantly Googling things everyone else seemed to already know.

That discomfort kept me frozen.

The Age Question I Kept Asking

Am I too old to start now?

I assumed age was the problem, without really testing that assumption. But the truth is, nothing about my daily work suggests my brain stopped working at 38.

As a nurse, I:

Learn new protocols all the time
Work with complex systems and technology
Make decisions under pressure
Adapt quickly when things change

Learning syntax and logic is not harder than that. It is just unfamiliar.

The fear was not about ability. It was about identity.

Wanting Without Acting

There is a strange place between wanting something and doing it.

I lived there for years.

Wanting felt safe. Starting felt risky.

Once you start, the fantasy breaks. You find out if you are patient enough, consistent enough, or stubborn enough to keep going. As long as I never started, the idea of coding stayed perfect and untouched.

That is comfortable. And also limiting.

What I Realized Late

Coding is not a single door you walk through and never come back from.

Starting does not mean quitting nursing.

Learning does not mean committing to a new identity.

It just means allowing curiosity to exist in action, not only in thought.

I do not need to become a software engineer tomorrow. I do not even need a plan yet. I just need to stop treating interest like a promise I am afraid to break.

Where I Am Now

I am still a nurse.

I am still 38.

And I still have not started coding.

But now I am being honest about why.

Not starting is not neutral. It is a decision. And once I saw that clearly, the question changed.

It stopped being “Is it too late?”

And became “How much longer am I willing to wait?”

Final Thought

I do not know yet if I will actually do this.

I do not know if I will open a tutorial, write my first line of code, or close the tab and come back to this thought again months from now. That uncertainty is still here, and I am not pretending otherwise.

But I do know this. The wanting has not gone away. It has been quiet, patient, and persistent.

Maybe that means something. Or maybe it does not.

For now, I am just sitting with the question instead of answering it too quickly.

And that feels like progress, even if I am not sure where it leads.