Technician to Computer Programmer: Fighting to Stay Relevant.

sarahelayne — Sun, 13 Oct 2019 03:39:46 +0000

I can't speak for anyone else other than myself and my close-in-age peers, but let me just come out and say, we all feel a little confused.
Finishing middle school, I started exploring computer certifications to evade college. There was an entire generation above me yelling as they were being crushed under student loan debt- that there were people far more successful than them who never attempted post-secondary education. This terrified me.

I explored the A+, Security+, Network+, CCNA, CompTIA A+, but stepped back knowing there will be time for me to buckle down and self-teach in the future. I could begin my career in computers on my own accord, whenever I was ready. After all, my father had prided himself on passing the A+ exam after reading through the curriculum a few times. He always had so much confidence that his children could do the same. His story wasn't a unique one for his age group.

High school breezed by, a lot of life happened, and I wasn't ready (or into) being an adult in general. My generation's cynicism had taken over my attitude about working towards a brighter future. After all, we were watching the "American dream" crumble in front of us. Every conversation about attaining certifications was met with... "I got that, and it didn't do much for me, get [different new fancy certification] instead, and you'll go far!"

I graduated high school with a shiny 3.14 GPA. I was so confused about what I wanted to do in my life. Some techs expressed their remorse over getting certifications (CERTs) instead of going to college. Some techs went as far as expressing resentment towards non-certified people with degrees taking their jobs, leaving them in under-paid front line support roles.

Then, I got a job at a call center that diagnosed and processed on-site computer repair. It paid very well, and it promised that upward mobility was yours, and they didn't care about CERTs. I drank the corporate kool-aid pretty hard. I thought I had found my footing, and I was so grateful and ecstatic that someone was willing to take a chance on silly old me.

Boy, I so wrong. Once training was over, I got out to the production floor and the attitude felt like a completely different world. As time went by, it became more obvious that this wasn't a job I was built for. I remained willfully ignorant of the idea that I was in the wrong place. I was so scared of losing my footing and wage bracket.

My job became miserable. I had severe anxiety walking into work every day. Every time I opened outlook, I was bombarded by emails that demanded to know my reasoning behind every move in my case-work, and that I needed to take more calls per day, even though my evening shift did not produce a volume that could satisfy call center metrics. It was always, "Your call handling time is too long, but good job, most of your proposed resolutions worked!" or "Your call handling time is too short, you're not spending enough time on isolating the issue!". I just couldn't win.

A manager finally clued me in.. that maybe every email is a trap, and is designed to render me incompetent. I wasn't allowed to defend or justify myself without feeling punishment and regret. They were either generating a paper trail to get rid of me, or flat out bullying me out the door. I have no idea what I did that was so wrong, or who's nerve I struck so badly to deserve a cruel sentence, but I am so thankful someone blew a whistle at me.

That point forward, I realized that I was working for a company that was corrosive to my mental health in the name of compliance. I needed to look out for myself to survive. I accepted I didn't like my job, I liked my paychecks, the pep-talks, and the implied that the world was mine if I worked hard enough. When the denial broke like glass in my hands, I found the courage to walk away from a toxic work environment.

How could everything go so wrong? Being in an office or shop, I've always fit in. I always had a good time, and I always had the spark to tackle difficult issues. It was the teamwork, the people, and the challenges that I loved so much about the industry. How could I ever trip and fall so badly? Especially doing what I know best? Well.. doing the only thing I knew how to do. It was a dehumanizing experience. I felt stripped of my will to move forward in technology, and that maybe whatever skill and talent I had was just one big joke.

As I networked with other friends and family about my recent spirit-crushing experience, I found peace. Everyone was feeling the same way. No could prepare me for what my career of choice was turning into. The bigger picture showed that being a front-line tech is turning into a mass-production operation, by the fault of no one, except innovation itself. If you look at it, computers and phones tell you what's wrong with a few programs and pre-boot diagnostics. It meant fewer hardware swaps and hands-on work. It became expensive to open up sleek/small form factor devices, and risky to replace intricate components in uncontrolled environments. Companies have found it cheaper to outright replace entire devices, rather than servicing them. Warranties are becoming affordable and accessible. Components are becoming so cheap to produce that harvesting leftover known-good hardware is no longer a productive or profitable practice. Every single dynamic I loved about being a tech was transpiring into something that I wasn't made for, nor identified with. I had to make peace with the fact that it no longer brought me comfort. I needed to re-strategize to stay in the game and do so fast.

While I am sad to see what that genre of IT turns into, I know that it is just a side-effect of progression. I really can't say that I outright or knowingly chose code as my future. I guess you can say it kind of chose me.

On a real note, I thought I was signing up for an intro-to-code conference when I filled out the application. In my defense, I was trying to be discreet about it on my lunch break, and I didn't have time to read a lot. I had this weird feeling of "Yes, this is for me!". I nearly fainted when I found out that I applied for a 6-month long boot-camp. Nevermind the panic attack and happy tears when I found out I was accepted into something so cool. With each passing day, I can say that I can't help but to get more-and-more obsessed with code. It's been a long time since I've felt so strongly about learning.

Staying relevant is staying vigilant and accepting of change, and in the future, I hope to never lose the inspiration to do exactly that.

Reflecting on My First Week on My New Journey

sarahelayne — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 01:49:21 +0000

So, I have just finished my first week of coding school! Unfortunately, I was unable to be there for the entirety of the 40 hours this week. To come to this coding school, I had quit my job (in Tahlequah, OK), fled some personal relationships that were not supportive of my decision to go back to school, my car had broken down (it totaled itself from the inside out), and my roommate situation wasn't as smooth and... how do you say it? "happy go lucky" as I thought it would be.

Fortunately, I had gotten a place to stay that is a 30-minute walk from school, I had recovered from being sick, and my roommate situation had resolved itself. Yay! My head is back above water! Right? I sure hope so. I had started to wonder if I had made the right decisions to get where I am at. I realized that I had to stop looking at everything that was throwing a wrench in my gears and start looking towards the sun. I had to let go of this romanticization of "if I was meant to be here, and do this, that everything would just fall together and work out in the end". My escapism from anxiety was unrealistic, and I fully acknowledge that I will probably see many more wrenches thrown my way.

Before my feelings of triumph, I lost confidence for a moment. I was starting to wonder: how much more could I really take? I looked around, and really, is there anywhere else to go but up?! I'm here! it's manageable, and the only things that could bring me down are things that I entirely have power over. Even if I had a broken leg... deep down, I know my classmates are so supportive. Someone out there would detour a mile out of their way to come to get me. I am so very grateful for them, and I can't wait to meet them more! Great friendships are coming, I know it.

As I'm writing this, I must admit that I have a heavy heart. Earlier in this blog, I had mentioned that my roommate's arrangement didn't work out as I had hoped. I try not to wear my heart on my sleeve, but, there's really no other way that I can be true to myself without being real in my writings. My (ex)roommate moved with me from Tahlequah. His name is Nick, and we have been best friends since we sat by each other on the first day of sophomore year in high school. Together, along with another friend named Sharon, met for lunch almost every single day. My two amigos and I went to the Vex Robotics World Championships to compete. We spent nearly every day, after school, in the robotics building until 5pm. (Shout out to Doctor Calvin Cole for dedicating so much time to us!)

Unfortunately, all of that time together years ago couldn't prepare us for the growing apart that had crept up on us without warning. I really wish there was another way to separate, but circumstances and boundaries had led us down a path that wasn't pretty, causing us to sever our friendship almost certainly for good. I'll always carry these memories and this friendship with me and see the best of times, but I know I had to walk away to move forward.

I was happy to bring him along for this coding/tech adventue, but life had other plans, and that's OK! I get to learn how to stand on my own two feet alone, and I am excited about that experience.

Now! Going forward, I attempting to attain a waitressing or carhop job in the afternoon, and one of my dear friends is willing to sell his old car to me for cheap. Walking is still a valid option, but if I am working, I need to get around a little faster for more hours and less fatigue. Regardless, I am super ready the future!

I am facing all of my challenges head-on (or, well, you know, I'm trying to.) I know that my coping skills could use some healthy exercise, and I'm only learning and growing for a brighter future; not only in code, but also life in general.

I am so very blessed, thankful, and in aw of all of the love, support, and opportunity I have been given.

I will be proud to say that this experience is one of growth, that I built primarily with my own two hands.

Thank you guys for reading. I'll see you next week!

DEV Community: sarahelayne

Technician to Computer Programmer: Fighting to Stay Relevant.

Reflecting on My First Week on My New Journey