Regarding the last point. Consider that many people do not have your self-confidence to brush aside (even indirect) personally-targeted remarks.
I do not believe an attitude of "being offended" is at all productive. But I do try to consider whether my words will be effective. A wise person once told me to assume that someone who can hear me is acutely hurting (because it is statistically probable). Using careless and hostile words will not reach that person, and in fact may aggravate their hurt. I certainly don't get this right, but I think it is worth the attempt to avoid that.
Anyway, I think the main point is that this community does not seem like it wants to be the place where I should come looking for a fight. It wants to be the place where I should come looking for a supportive voice. Even if that voice happens to be disagreeing with me on the specific details.
The last word is yours.
I could not agree more.
Also, I have to bold this: I am not advocating the willingness to fight. What I am actually advocating is being welcome to the diversity of any kind.
The set of rules is fine, and nobody should have issues following one. People (thank God :) are different and what hurts Jim does not hurt Gem at all, and vice versa. We cannot predict at all what actually hurts Joe. That is exactly why I don’t believe much in rulesets. Immature persons who don’t understand how to behave in a society are always losing without any rules. But the more strict rules are, the more innocent persons who do not fit—let’s call it culture—literally suffer from these rules implications.
I think the attempt to decrease the amount of those who were oppressed by existing strict rules is a good goal. Even better than having one jerk explicitly banned due to the existence of the rules.
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