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Changing Directions.

lvrbrtsn profile image Levi ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ ・1 min read

I have been trying to make big changes in my life over the past year and it has been pretty wild honestly. When I was writing this time last year I was in a really weird place, I had just up and randomly quit my BIG BANK™ job without finding another one, I didn't know if I could find another one right away, honestly, I did not care, I just wanted out of that job.

I was in a dark place, despite being financially stable for the first time since I was 17 and homeless I was more suicidal than ever. It basically became all I ever thought about, that caused me to remember a video by Fun Fun Function that I had watched several months before starting to feel this way. This video honestly may have saved my life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZAVtDR-SQs.

I decided to take my mental health as the highest priority as a form of self-preservation. Having already put a loaded gun to my head, it seemed like I was past the point where this was necessary. So I left my job and started living off my credit cards. This was the smartest decision I have made up until this point.

It was a slow process, but I have completely changed my outlook on life in less than one year. I can say that I am happier than ever, and now I feel like I am in a spot in my life where I can create some things I am really proud of. That will be my focus for the next year.

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kaelscion profile image
kaelscion

Good. For. You. What most people don't realize is that a lot of highly technical people and creatives struggle mightily and consistently with suicidal ideation (I've made more than one attempt in my darker years). By writing this little blog post, you've done your part in de-sitgmatizing (is that a word? If not ©️ CodeDuck 2019 😁) this EXTREMELY common problem and encouraging people to value their mental health over their "swanky" jobs or stupid things like a credit score or financial bragging rights. No job, financial success, credit rating, bank account balance, reference, or resume' porn will be worth a dang thing if you're dead. Good on ya and best wishes in your new direction!

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lvrbrtsn profile image
Levi ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ Author

Thanks! I hope more and more people start to talk about their struggles with it. It is crazy what a relief it is to tell people oftentimes. And I am shocked by how many people feel the same way.

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tammalee profile image
Tammy Lee

Sometimes getting yourself out of the bad situation is the best thing you can do for your health. Good luck to you on your journey!