re: Software People — How Do You Deal With Stress/Bullies/Frustration? VIEW POST


One thing I often struggle with is discussing the hard things in tech. Things that take a serious toll on your health. Maybe there should be something like Software Therapy for situations like these. A therapist that'd understand you and would advise you better being a software person themselves. Coz otherwise they wouldn't understand a thing.

Things which I can't discuss with my mentor (to not feel so vulnerable), with my direct lead (to not be judged), with my parents (to not make them worried) — what should I do, not everything can/should be discussed in the public.

Keeping such stuff to yourself makes you or me at least more frustrated about it. What do you do when that happens to you?


Take better care of yourself.

If you keep it inside, you will fester/rot/explode.

Find your outlet.

Apparently you have jogging and that's great, but you can't jog all the time.

If your work is taking a toll on your health (outside of a coal mine, no less) something is wrong with your work. We've (mostly?) all been there. Not everyone makes it out with mind and body in tact, but you will.


Trying my best to do that. Thanks for the kind words ☝

Be patient with yourself too. People will always be people, and self care is a life long practice.


As someone who has been in and out of therapy for almost 30 years now, I can tell you what you deal with has much more to do with being a human than it does with being a software developer. Therapy is a good thing, and I recommend finding one that you are comfortable getting emotionally naked with.

Feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, fear of reprisal from your teammates or your supervisor; these are all pretty natural things to endure in our field. I know I have gotten a lot out of therapy, as well as Jordan Peterson’s book “12 Rules for Life”.


Goes to buy the book.

What I meant was therapy or advice from someone who's been in such conditions and have had a career in software. Coz trying to explain the software relevant issues that led to stress would not do much good with a layman in software terms.

Just a thought.

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