software engineer for 12 years lead enginer ofand cofounder for 7.
there is nothing to me that screams more incompetent or unsuitable for any managerial position than uttering this completely corny phrase to anothe grown up:
“Success isn’t just about titles or monetary rewards,” I told them. “It’s about growth, learning, and the impact we create. Every challenge we overcome makes us stronger.”
Dont use it again, ever. its tone deaf at best and infuriating at worst.
Any career person would immediatel assume u either live with
with parents or you are fresh out of college and still extremely naive - not fit to lead himself , much less others.
Irs universally received very differently than how it sounds in your head. Few phrases are as corny amd harmful as this one and there is no coming back from this. you can be a good friend but you will never be a serious manager - I assume you were recently promoted to such a position, this is a major footgun for young people.
your job is to manage - allocate resources, present data driven opinioms amd make a case for xyz to the people above, not to be the sensitive bearer of bad news to your team
And sometims even say no the people above you
Keep in mind that unless you are able to push back to the decisions, coming from above for valid reasons, you have no ability to manage whatsoever. You need to have the mental fortitude to negotiate your position with the people above, and the people above must be receptive to it otherwise, there is no management structure. This is not the army.
Also people adapt quite fast, they rwrely require the compassion you think they do, just blunt feedback and clear timelines so they can make arrangments is compassionate in and by itself,
Hiring and letting people go are fundamental pocsesses in any business, do how is this a dakside of programming type of issue?
The matter of fact is that managing other people requires some amount of guts and the ability to brush off some emotions that would probably overehelm someone more sensitive. It is not cut for everyone that is definitely true and that is perfectly OK.
For somehow, we got convinced that everyone needs to be a manager as if it’s a successful pathway forward when the matter fact is that it requires a certain type of person otherwise, the person itself and the team all suffer together.
You’re not involved in fraud against your own team in any sort of way this is not under your control so without sounding too strict, I would advise to rethink whether there is justified reason to feel so bad about this. Of course, that is a personal issue if so, so I’ll stop here.
It sounds like you’re injecting some of your mental state into the situation and make it more gloomy than it is. Could that be happening? It’s rare that in a profession like ours that people would be left in the street. Uncomfortable yes but that is a fact of life then again I am not sure which country you are in or what the situation is so I won’t opine.
Sidenote, VP engineering might be too formal title unless you’re managing subteams.
A team leader that leads is serious business in and by itself.
I wish you the best of luck and sorry for the horrible grammar. I wrote this on my phone
Hey @nicholas_kyriakides_d4444, thanks for the honest feedback and write up. I do agree on some of your points, that is the nature of being a manager. I was promoted 2 years ago into the managerial position from the same team that i have been working on. So there were some attachment since the people i manage used to be my friends.
I have a few questions regarding the corny phrase that you mentioned i used (maybe i am not a fit person to lead other yet, but would love to learn from your experience). How do you motivate your people to get the job done if it is not for monetary gain ? I mean we can be seriously strict were we only see results and pressure all the employees to follow. But this will result in more turnover and the less trust between the team members ?
For further actions, you may consider blocking this person and/or reporting abuse
We're a place where coders share, stay up-to-date and grow their careers.
software engineer for 12 years lead enginer ofand cofounder for 7.
there is nothing to me that screams more incompetent or unsuitable for any managerial position than uttering this completely corny phrase to anothe grown up:
“Success isn’t just about titles or monetary rewards,” I told them. “It’s about growth, learning, and the impact we create. Every challenge we overcome makes us stronger.”
Dont use it again, ever. its tone deaf at best and infuriating at worst.
Any career person would immediatel assume u either live with
with parents or you are fresh out of college and still extremely naive - not fit to lead himself , much less others.
Irs universally received very differently than how it sounds in your head. Few phrases are as corny amd harmful as this one and there is no coming back from this. you can be a good friend but you will never be a serious manager - I assume you were recently promoted to such a position, this is a major footgun for young people.
your job is to manage - allocate resources, present data driven opinioms amd make a case for xyz to the people above, not to be the sensitive bearer of bad news to your team
And sometims even say no the people above you
Keep in mind that unless you are able to push back to the decisions, coming from above for valid reasons, you have no ability to manage whatsoever. You need to have the mental fortitude to negotiate your position with the people above, and the people above must be receptive to it otherwise, there is no management structure. This is not the army.
Also people adapt quite fast, they rwrely require the compassion you think they do, just blunt feedback and clear timelines so they can make arrangments is compassionate in and by itself,
Hiring and letting people go are fundamental pocsesses in any business, do how is this a dakside of programming type of issue?
The matter of fact is that managing other people requires some amount of guts and the ability to brush off some emotions that would probably overehelm someone more sensitive. It is not cut for everyone that is definitely true and that is perfectly OK.
For somehow, we got convinced that everyone needs to be a manager as if it’s a successful pathway forward when the matter fact is that it requires a certain type of person otherwise, the person itself and the team all suffer together.
You’re not involved in fraud against your own team in any sort of way this is not under your control so without sounding too strict, I would advise to rethink whether there is justified reason to feel so bad about this. Of course, that is a personal issue if so, so I’ll stop here.
It sounds like you’re injecting some of your mental state into the situation and make it more gloomy than it is. Could that be happening? It’s rare that in a profession like ours that people would be left in the street. Uncomfortable yes but that is a fact of life then again I am not sure which country you are in or what the situation is so I won’t opine.
Sidenote, VP engineering might be too formal title unless you’re managing subteams.
A team leader that leads is serious business in and by itself.
I wish you the best of luck and sorry for the horrible grammar. I wrote this on my phone
Hey @nicholas_kyriakides_d4444, thanks for the honest feedback and write up. I do agree on some of your points, that is the nature of being a manager. I was promoted 2 years ago into the managerial position from the same team that i have been working on. So there were some attachment since the people i manage used to be my friends.
I have a few questions regarding the corny phrase that you mentioned i used (maybe i am not a fit person to lead other yet, but would love to learn from your experience). How do you motivate your people to get the job done if it is not for monetary gain ? I mean we can be seriously strict were we only see results and pressure all the employees to follow. But this will result in more turnover and the less trust between the team members ?