DEV Community

Discussion on: Are you interested in personal development?

Collapse
 
aurelkurtula profile image
aurel kurtula

I'm in it for the long haul. By it I mean life.

I was about 18 years old when I first realised that people thought about the meaning of life. I was confused, what meaning? Then I did some superficial research and felt inferiour. It felt as though I was the only one, that stupidly took the idea that there's no meaning as a given.

Then with more research I was convinced that there's no meaning to life. Yes, yes, we all have a meaning to our life (though even that I highly doubt) but there isn't a concrete meaning to life. As for example there's a concrete meaning to success.

That's amazingly liberating. If you read various internet forums, youtube video comments or even the newspapers, it looks like there's a definate meaning to life and we're all running like headless chickens to grab hold of it. It's usually some form of power and fame. But if you stop, take a breath, you'll know that life is a playground where you have the gift of playing in.

I read this thread few days a go and I dismissed it, my answer to "Are you interested in personal development?" was "aren't we all?" In fact whether we are or not, we all "develope".

Out of everything, reading philosophy books and novels have helped me the most. Mainly to constantly reinforce the above, that there's no meaning, there's no right and wrong and that you are absolutely in your right to go for what you want, what ever it is.

I have never read a self help book that didn't tell me what I already know. I have never seen a youtuber that didn't disapoint down the road.

Whilst I do not meditate - I wouldn't even know where to start - from what I have read about it, I improve similar to how I think people improve through meditation. By thinking long and hard about what I really want and need.

And, to go back to the top, since I'm in it for the long haul, I can afford to listen to myself rather than get told by others what I need to do.

Finally, I want to share this story with you:

I didn't want to read "How to win friends and influence people" so I went on internet to find out why! P). I came across this story.

A woman get's on the train and sits next to a younger woman. The young woman is reading "How to win friends and influence people" so the slightly older and more confident woman tries to strike a conversation with the young woman. Seeing how the young woman is so interested in making friends and influencing people, did she really have to read it in a book "when someone says hi, that's your opportunity to say high back"?

As for what I do. As I already said, I read lot's of novels, and non fiction. I read few self-help books. Mainly those that kind of sound like they aren't self help and I take stories from them. Just last night I finished "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" (that's a genuine book title). I didn't learn anything, but, as I expected, there were few nice stories that I'll keep with me.

Finally, last night also, I read this quote "It is not the success we’re after, but the being" by Ellen Vrana (amazing woman) which in my head, describes everything that I really wish to accomplish in life.

Just in case it helps. Here are some books that I loved reading

  • Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman
  • Don't sweat the small stuff by Richard Carlson
  • Big magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
  • Les miserables by Victor Hugo
  • The artist's way by Julia Cameron
  • Bird by bird by Anne Lamott
  • A hanging by George Orwell (nothing to do with this topic but a dam good story - in fact read Orwell and you'll develop into a great human)
  • Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre
  • A writer's diary by Virgini Woolf
  • Joy by osho

introverts should read Quiet by Susan Cain which, again, reenforces the fact that what makes you you is only a problem if you listen to other people that - for some reason - want you to be like them

It might not be what you were looking for but this thread has been in my head since I read it few days a go so by writing this, I'm sure it will go away. Sorry for it being so long

Collapse
 
_patrickgod profile image
Patrick God

Hi Aurel,

Wow, thanks for the long post. There's absolutely no need to apologize. Love your contribution. Very interesting points. I'll definitely think about these.

And besides, great book recommendations. I have already read some of them and especially enjoyed "Don't sweat the small stuff". :)

Thanks again and happy holidays!
Patrick