Like you, I'm also self-taught and started with PHP. If knowing React is what qualifies somebody as being a developer, then you can count me in the "not a developer" group too.
The good news, like many others have commented, is that isn't the case. There are so many types of developers (front end, back end, full stack, software, websites, apps, etc.) that tying your "developerness" to your proficiency in one particular framework or library is only doing yourself a disservice. It's hard to ignore that little voice in your head though when you see so many articles, courses, and job postings focusing on specific frameworks.
I recently asked the same question of how to keep up with it all, and the advice I got was largely the same you've been given. You can't, so don't set yourself up to fail by creating an impossible-to-meet expectation. If there's an area that interests you, then spend your time learning that. I find it helpful to subscribe to newsletters or use social media to keep up with things happening in related-areas, but I only do deep dives if it's something I'm actually interested in.
Easier said than done, but I'm rooting for you!
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