As we enter 2026, I find myself asking the same question over and over again:
“Am I really a backend developer, or just someone trying to become one?”
University is over. Technically, I’m a graduate.
In practice, I’ve been unemployed for about a year and a half.
I have a CV (I tried to apply almost everything people suggested — ATS optimization, for example. Maybe it’s nonsense, I honestly don’t know), I have projects, and I have what I believe is enough knowledge to qualify for a junior position.
Yet somehow, it still feels like there is no clear direction.
A Bit About My Background
I graduated from computer engineering and spent most of my university years developing games.
However, shortly after starting my career journey, the confusion in my head became unbearable. After graduation, I wanted to truly understand how systems work, so I shifted my focus to backend development.
I started with JavaScript, a language I had never worked with before and struggled to understand while coding. I studied Node.js and Express.js, but after some time, I realized I was just taking notes without real comprehension. The language simply wasn’t for me. I didn’t truly understand what I was writing.
At one point, I thought maybe backend itself wasn’t the problem. Since I was used to seeing my code reflected in a graphical interface while developing games, working with tools like Postman felt foreign to me. Having worked in graphic design for nearly 10 years, I believed I could create great things on the frontend side.
So I chose React and React Native.
After 3–4 months, I realized I once again had nothing tangible to show for my effort. That’s when it became clear: JavaScript was not for me.
Relying on my Unity and game development background, I decided to return to C#, and this time I truly enjoyed backend development with .NET.
For the first time, I understood exactly what I was writing — what it did, why it existed, and how it worked.
I kept improving myself. For about 8 to 12 months (I jumped between so many topics that I can’t even be sure of the exact duration), I focused on building monolithic backend projects. I paid special attention to writing structured and systematic code. I tried to internalize concepts like Clean Architecture and DDD — and I believe I partially succeeded.
I built backend projects, followed industry news, and at some point, I genuinely believed I would find a job.
But unfortunately, nothing went according to plan.
Unemployment and Uncertainty
Being unable to find a job doesn’t just drain your wallet — it drains your mind.
I’m in a mentally exhausting phase of my life.
I want to do many things, but at some point, my motivation fades. I’ve become so used to negativity that I’ve almost lost my belief that something positive can happen in my career.
Days passed, applications were sent, but I only had two interview opportunities.
One was rejected because I didn’t “fit the position” (a junior role that required three years of experience). The other failed due to salary expectations.
For context, the salary I asked for was around $800 per month — the minimum I needed to survive after moving to a new city, renting a new place, and paying basic expenses.
At some point, a thought started haunting me:
“Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough?”
That question is dangerous.
Because most of the time, there is no clear answer — and it slowly eats you from the inside.
“Software Is Dying,” They Say
Then there’s the external noise.
“Software development is over.”
“AI will replace everyone.”
“There are no junior positions anymore.”
“No one needs backend developers now.”
It’s impossible to avoid these messages.
They’re everywhere — LinkedIn, Twitter, forums.
Listening to all this while already going through a difficult period feels like torture. I’m trying to learn as much as I can, often without any salary expectations, just to land a job. Putting in effort day and night.
And yet, hearing others confidently say that all of this effort will be meaningless is deeply exhausting.
Maybe they’re partially right.
In 5–10 years, knowing how to write basic code won’t be enough. Understanding systems, knowing where and why to use certain tools, will matter much more. Maybe software development will fundamentally change.
But when you’re already questioning whether your effort will ever pay off, hearing all this leads to one unavoidable question:
“So why am I even trying?”
Why am I — and people like me — still trying?
Why Am I Writing This?
I’m not writing this because I’ve figured everything out.
Quite the opposite.
I’m still on the path.
But one thing has become clear to me:
Fewer topics
More depth
More creation
Less consumption
That’s why I started this blog.
Not to explain things perfectly, but to process what I learn and share it.
Maybe it will help someone.
Or maybe one day I’ll look back and say, “This is where it started.”
One thing I’m certain about: I will not give up.
I’ll keep pushing my knowledge and experience one step further.
I’m open to all kinds of ideas and feedback.
All I ask is a bit of understanding and empathy for how mentally exhausting this process can be.
Final Thoughts
Being a backend developer in 2026 is hard.
But maybe it’s not impossible.
The hardest part is:
Not losing focus
Separating your own path from the noise of others
And not giving up
I hope we can achieve this.
All of us who are still trying.
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