Reading this in mid-August meant I didn't realize it was an April fool - I certainly wasn't fooled that these were performance improvements. Instead, it read to me like a snarky jibe aimed at those seasoned ex-perl devs and the like who had some very bad habits. Those habits happened to serve fairly well as a way of keeping one's job.
Haha, interesting interpretation :D
I never used Perl, I just read once that it was the reason PHP was invented and if you had to invent PHP to solve something, things probably went awry XD
Just so I don't get flamed, I did say "perl and the like"! PHP started life as 2 perl scripts designed to make perl easy to use to create web pages, from there it exploded into the most popular web programming language for a good 10 years.. can't have been that bad! PHP4 did have some crazy performance hacks that made it run faster, like not splitting your classes into separate files, just one long huge file made a super difference to performance!
Just was making fun here :)
I started my career with PHP and was a PHP developer for 5 years or so.
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