I wanted to offer one more thing. There is a book called Delivered from Distraction. It was recommended by my therapist and I just started reading it today. Here is an excerpt, starting with an example conversation.
PATIENT: The worst thing of this ADD thing, or whatever you doctors call it, doesn't make it into the medical books. I've read descriptions online. They make it sound like a shopping list of symptoms, you know, forgetful, disorganized, can't be on time, so on, so on, blah, blah, blah. The people who write that don't know the real hell of having whatever this thing truly is. I never have a moment's peace. It's like I have a radar, always on the alert for: What have I done wrong lately? Who's mad at me? What disaster is going to hit out of the bleeping blue sky? That's what most people don't get.
DOCTOR: What exactly is it most people don't get?
PATIENT: Yeah, that's part of the hell of it. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to explain all this to you? It's like doing surgery on myself, and without anesthesia. What I'm describing to you is like a malignant form of insecurity, like no matter what, no matter where I am or what I am doing, I am always in danger of falling into a pit of despair and depression. For no good reason. My imagination dreams up some failure, some rejection, based on some tiny scintilla of evidence, which I then blow up into a freakin' apocalypse. It's like my life blows up in my own mind every day, usually several times a day. None of your pills help me with that.
Delivered from Distration, Preface xxxiii
The patient goes on to talk about how alcohol, marijuana, exercise, sex, etc help temporarily but are not sustainable. I haven't read much past there yet. The point being that this book seems to "get" me. Maybe it will get you too.
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I wanted to offer one more thing. There is a book called Delivered from Distraction. It was recommended by my therapist and I just started reading it today. Here is an excerpt, starting with an example conversation.
The patient goes on to talk about how alcohol, marijuana, exercise, sex, etc help temporarily but are not sustainable. I haven't read much past there yet. The point being that this book seems to "get" me. Maybe it will get you too.