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Thomas Hansen
Thomas Hansen

Posted on • Originally published at ainiro.io

The Fastest Growing Company on Earth

Warning - This is not an article about software development - But since I know VC managers are surrounding you as if you were fish in the sea where they are sharks, I feel morally obligated to publishing it here.

Today it is 16 days since we started AINIRO. When you look at what we've done since the 11th of April, it probably feels surreal. 3 people have done the following in 16 days;

Fastest growing company on Earth

This is the type of stuff if you asked any "serious VC firm" what would require, they would easily claim it would need at least 6 figures, probably 7. We did it for €7! Let me repeat that in case you missed it ...

We've spend €7 so far!

What happened?

Well, I probably shouldn't talk too much about it - But I can tell you I sold my shares in AISTA for €100. Apparently the "paper value" of my shares was €750,000, still I've never felt better! I suspect it's the best deal I've done in my entire life 😂

In return I was allowed to use all the intellectual property I had created in AISTA. The open source stuff I didn't bother about, it's anyways open source, so who cares. This implies that in 2 weeks, 3 people have reproduced 90% of what we had in our previous company. The only thing missing now is the brand value and the website traffic, something I anticipate we'll need another couple of weeks to achieve. The previous company spent €300,000 and 20 months reaching the point where it's at now, we spent 2 weeks and €7 to reach where we're at.

What's my point ...?

Do not accept VC money!

If you're working for a VC fund and "you're interested in talking business opportunities with me", I have two words for you; GO AWAY! I don't need you, and I definitely do not want you! Before I accepted my last round of VC in my previous company, I explicitly demanded a contract that said "I run the company". For 20 months I was non-stop constantly told how to do my stuff, in violation of our original contract on a daily basis, until I "snapped" and finally said;

Enough is enough!

In fact, I know a joke about VC dudes, which goes as follows; "How do you make a software developer become a VC fund manager? You amputate half his brain!" Every single friend I've had in my entire life has used arguments such as;

  • Don't you want to scale?
  • Don't you want to grow faster?
  • Don't you want to hire more people to increase your velocity?

My experiences tells me that everytime I have fallen for the above rubbish, the exact opposite have ended up being the result. By all means, if you want to accept VC money in return for equity, go ahead. Maybe you'll succeed where I didn't. However in my experience, this is the truth.

The more VC money you accept, the slower you grow!

And the reasons are because "the VC guy" simply can't avoid telling you "how to do your job". At AINIRO nobody is telling anybody what to do. We're therefor spending 100% of our time simply doing it - We don't have time for smalltalk! This is the reason why we're the fastest growing company on Earth today! And the reason why we've built, deployed and SOLD a successful product in 2 weeks, 3 people, 2 weeks, with a €7 budget! Have that in mind as you go through your own arguments about "how to scale faster" ... 😉

To the VC guys out there

So we don't want your money. We don't need it. If that's your edge for meeting us, then go away! However, if you want a kickass ChatGPT website chatbot providing the exact opposite argument, we'd be more than happy to talk to you. Just don't start out the discussion believing you've got something we need - Because you don't!

We've got what you want though, and we know it! And we're selling it for €49 per month. Please make a nice and orderly line as you queue up to buy our stuff. Just because you're a VC fund manager, doesn't mean you're anymore important to us than the guy owning the local pizza shop where we live 😂

Swallow down the bitter pill with some wine! It usually helps 😂

Top comments (1)

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arianygard profile image
AriaNygard

This is actually insane haha!