Maybe neither is quite right. After all work is part of life but I guess it's shorthand for personal life. Work/life integration has some negative connotations for me when I think of the consequences of too tight an integration. Anyway, ftr I posted this only half jokingly. I think many developers are way too obsessed with learning, improving, advancing, etc. and it can be detrimental to mental and physical health and relationships. Do you see yourself primarily as being on a software development journey? As a human I think that's just totally wrong.
Yeah, thinking of work/life as an optimization problem where you're optimizing for multiple things conflicts are inevitable. And sometimes it would be "better" to earn money for your family rather than spending quality time with them (and some will disagree, resulting in conflict in yet another life role). It's tough being a human.
If your family is severely in debt... what's more of a priority right now - quality time or making money?
If your family values being financially independent, etc. then being in a "season" of tackling the debt would be "better" for now. And this would position your family, long term, to be in a better position.
So ya, sometimes there are short term sacrifices for long term gains, sometimes it depends on values, etc.
No easy answer! And yes, it's tough!
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