After my previous article was published, I finally received something I had been missing for a long time: support.
People sent words of encouragement, provided financial help, shared contacts, and most importantly — I met amazing people and colleagues from the IT community. This gave me the strength to keep fighting — both for my health and for my profession.
But the path turned out to be much harder than I could have imagined at that time.
Refusals, Fear, and Worsening Health
In 2023 and 2024, I repeatedly sought help from leading medical centers in Russia: the Burdenko Neurosurgery Institute, the Research Institute of Neurology, clinics in Novosibirsk and Tyumen, and several other hospitals. I asked for a standard stereotactic brain surgery or focused ultrasound surgery — a pallidotomy.
The response was always the same:
“It’s too dangerous,”
“You will lose your speech,”
“The risks are too high,”
“We won’t take this case,”
“We only do this following a standard protocol for Parkinson’s disease.”
They suggested Gamma Knife surgery, which cannot be done in my case, and even spinal surgery.
But these procedures are not suitable for me and would not help — they would only make my condition worse.
At the same time, my health was rapidly deteriorating because of a baclofen pump. In 2018, at the Burdenko Neurosurgery Institute, a doctor replaced my baclofen pump with a new one. While I was studying for my master’s degree at the Higher School of Economics, my condition kept getting worse and worse.
My legs became severely swollen and painful, and by 2023 I completely lost the ability to walk — even inside my apartment. Public transport and the subway became impossible for me and my mother. Unfortunately, now I can only get around by taxi, and even short walks near my home are difficult.
After routine pump refills, I lost my memory twice — in March 2023 and February 2024. Despite this, my treating physician took no emergency action. After each of these episodes, recovery took a very long time. I had to literally “reassemble myself piece by piece.”
Throughout 2024, I prepared for the removal of the pump by gradually reducing the medication dosage. But at the final stage, due to technical limitations of the pump, the dose had to be sharply reduced. This triggered severe withdrawal symptoms: unbearable itching all over my body, insomnia, and extreme exhaustion.
In November 2024, the pump was finally removed. And because the withdrawal symptoms continued, I was… advised to see a psychiatrist.
Searching for Help Abroad
Realizing that doctors in Russia were not ready to help me, I began contacting clinics abroad — in Israel, Turkey, and Kazakhstan.
In Israel and Turkey, doctors once again tried to push deep brain stimulation, claiming that the electrodes implanted earlier had supposedly been placed incorrectly.
I категорically refused. Even in leading Russian neurosurgical centers, doctors were unable to properly adjust the neurostimulator — for 11 years they failed to find correct settings. Often, they simply follow standard protocols designed for other conditions. After some adjustments, my body would shake violently, almost like epileptic seizures.
If serious issues arose, I would have had to fly abroad every time just to reprogram the device — a dead-end path.
At first, I had doubts about the clinic of Dr. Shashkin in Kazakhstan. But eventually, I decided to move forward. The chief physician personally and thoroughly reviewed my medical history and said a phrase I will remember forever:
“You are a genius. You diagnosed yourself correctly and are asking for the right surgery.”
Moreover, he offered me a discount on the surgeries.
2025: The Second Surgery — Facts Against Fear
Eight months after the first surgery, I contacted the doctors in Kazakhstan again. A second stereotactic pallidotomy was scheduled for May 2025.
During the procedure, the remaining electrode and the neurostimulator were removed, after which the second pallidotomy was performed — on the left side.
The result: my health continues to improve, and my speech has not been affected — despite all the scare tactics used by doctors in Moscow.
If these surgeries had been performed back in 2012, I could have gradually regained the ability to walk outdoors, use public transportation, and live a much more independent life.
Unfortunately, instead, the decision was made to rely on a baclofen pump, which ultimately turned me into a wheelchair-bound person and caused significant damage to my health.
Now, additional surgeries are required in other areas of the brain. I plan to discuss them at Dr. Shashkin’s clinic — in Kazakhstan, this process is both simpler and more affordable. For two surgeries, flights, and rental housing, I spent around 2 million rubles. Raising this amount on my own is extremely difficult, and I have had to deny myself almost everything.
In Russia, these surgeries are theoretically performed under state-funded programs (free of charge), but doctors refuse to perform them — even on a paid basis.
If the doctors in Kazakhstan refuse to proceed further, the next option will be China.
Work, C++, and Fighting Burnout
At the same time, I continue working at CyberProtect. The project I worked on for almost two years — adapting a specialized Linux kernel — was shut down, and my work was essentially nullified. Currently, I am assigned to general tasks.
I have repeatedly asked for an opportunity to grow as a C++ developer, but I keep hearing the same response:
“Times are difficult, resources are limited.”
In order not to stand still, I enrolled in a one-year C++ Developer program. About 40% of the course has already been completed, including C++ and Qt.
I have several course projects that I continue to refine and expand for my portfolio.
I apply for C++ internships and junior positions, but as before, I often receive rejections. At times, apathy sets in and self-doubt creeps in. But I do not give up.
Instead of a Conclusion
I have gone through a path where surgeries that were said to be “impossible” turned out to be possible,
where “you will definitely lose your speech” turned out to be a myth,
and where my belief in myself was held together by people who simply wrote:
“You are not alone.”
If anyone has interesting projects and/or the opportunity to offer an internship or a job — and the desire to help — please reach out.
I would be grateful for every opportunity, new friends, colleagues, and even real-life meetings.
For those who have the desire and ability to support me financially, my contacts and donation details are available.
gersastas@gmail.com
ВКонтакте: vk.com/stasgersa92
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