🗣️ How to Talk to Developers (Without Sounding Like a Jerk or Getting Ignored)

You’re a founder. You’ve got urgency, vision, and a product to ship.

So why does it sometimes feel like your dev team is slow, resistant, or… just ignoring you?

Let’s be honest:

Most communication between non-technical founders and developers breaks down because you’re speaking different languages — but no one wants to admit it.

Here’s how to talk to developers in a way that builds trust, clarity, and actual results (without sounding like a jerk or getting tuned out).

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1. 🧠 Don’t Just Say What You Want — Explain Why You Want It

Bad:

“We need a dark mode by Monday.”

Better:

“Some users are bouncing because the app’s too bright at night. Can we explore a way to reduce that friction?”

Developers are problem-solvers. If you share context, they’ll often come up with a better solution than what you were going to request.

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2. 🔍 Avoid Vague Time Pressure

Saying “ASAP” or “just a small tweak” without any clarity is the fastest way to get eye rolls.

Try this instead:

• What’s the deadline, and why does it matter?
• Is this a must-have or a nice-to-have?
• What trade-offs are acceptable?

Example:

“We’re demoing to a big client Friday. If we can’t fix the broken signup flow, that’s a dealbreaker. Happy to postpone other tasks.”

That’s honest. That’s helpful. That gets prioritized.

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3. 💬 Use Fewer Words, More Clarity

Founders often overexplain or underexplain.

Both are bad.

Try this format when making a request:

🎯 Goal: Make onboarding feel faster
📍 Problem: Users drop off at the “invite team” step
💡 Suggestion: Can we move that step to later, or make it optional?
📅 Urgency: Would love this by next week’s launch — is that realistic?

It gives direction without dictation. That’s how you get buy-in.

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4. 🧑‍💻 Respect the Craft

Imagine someone saying to you:

“Hey, just throw together a pitch deck, shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

Annoying, right?

That’s how it feels when founders say:

“It’s just a button.”

“How hard can it be?”

“Can’t you just add that real quick?”

Even if you don’t understand why it’s complex, respect that it might be.

It builds trust — and avoids resentment.

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5. 🙋 Ask Before You Assume

If something feels slow, wrong, or off — don’t jump to conclusions.

Bad:

“Why is this taking so long? It should’ve been done by now.”

Better:

“Hey, curious if anything’s blocking this. Is there anything I can do to help move it forward?”

One sounds accusatory. The other invites collaboration.

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6. 🔁 Feedback is Not Micromanagement (If You Frame It Right)

Devs aren’t mind readers. Feedback is welcome — but only if it’s actionable, not personal.

❌ “This looks bad. I don’t like it.”

✅ “Users said the button was hard to find. Can we make it more prominent?”

Frame feedback as a shared goal, not a top-down command.

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Final Thought: Communicate Like a Teammate, Not a Taskmaster

Your developers don’t need you to write code.

They need you to:

• Communicate priorities clearly
• Give real user context
• Trust their problem-solving
• Respect their time and thinking

Talk like a partner — not a boss.

That’s how you build better software, together.

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✍️ I write about startup communication, product/dev collaboration, and building without burnout.

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