"... but I'm still not getting there. "
You're not gonna get there soon, believe me.
Just keep it simple for now, don't stress yourself because you don't know or don't understand something. I remember when I started my job, coding in the engine we're working in.. I've just left college and nothing has actually prepared me for this kind of experience.
But with time, I mastered most of it and now feel comfortable with coding new features or fixing legacy issues.
So my advice is, don't stress it, you're young and you're gonna get there, just keep at it.
This has given me hope!
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