😤 HackLang Sucks, PHP Rocks: A Dev's Unfiltered Rant
“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see your framework become HackLang.” — A tired PHP developer
💬 Intro: The Facebook Fork Nobody Asked For
Back in 2014, Facebook introduced Hack, a programming language they described as a "better PHP."
They said it brought static typing to PHP and would save the world from runtime bugs.
Fast forward to 2025, and most of the dev world says:
“Wait, HackLang still exists?”
😩 Why HackLang Feels Like a Bad Side Quest
Here’s a brutally honest list of why HackLang didn’t become the PHP messiah:
❌ 1. It Split the Community
Instead of uniting PHP devs, HackLang forked the ecosystem and confused everyone.
Suddenly, you had:
- PHP docs
- HackLang docs
- HHVM vs Zend Engine debates
It was like watching a breakup... with forks.
❌ 2. HHVM Dropped PHP Support
In 2021, HHVM (the runtime HackLang ran on) officially dropped PHP support.
So if you wanted to use HackLang, you also had to abandon modern PHP.
Who thought that was a good idea?
“HackLang turned my Laravel app into a ghost.” — anonymous Redditor, 2022
❌ 3. Adoption Outside Facebook? LOL
No major company outside of Meta adopted HackLang seriously.
Meanwhile, modern PHP (v8+) got:
- JIT compiler
- Attributes
- Union types
- Named arguments
- And a thriving ecosystem (Symfony, Laravel, etc.)
HackLang? Still stuck with outdated syntax and forced typing.
🔥 Meanwhile... PHP Is Lowkey Killing It
Despite all the hate, PHP:
- Powers ~75% of the web (WordPress, WooCommerce, MediaWiki)
- Is the core of Laravel, one of the most-loved frameworks today
- Has a huge job market
- Runs beautifully on any Linux server with zero drama
✅ PHP 8.3+ Brings The Heat
function greet(string $name): string {
return "Hello, $name!";
}
Clean. Fast. Backward-compatible.
And no need for a Facebook-sized brain to understand the error logs.
“I left HackLang and returned to PHP. It felt like coming home.” — Dev who saw the light
🧪 Real Dev Opinions
“HackLang was a cool idea. But cool doesn’t mean useful.” — @thedevcave
“Laravel in PHP is still more productive than anything I built in Hack.” — @johnny_io
“Typing? I’ll use Psalm. I don’t need an entire new language, thanks.” — every sane dev
🧠 Conclusion
Yes, HackLang was born from noble intentions.
Yes, it tried to “fix” PHP’s bad reputation.
But in trying to out-PHP PHP, it lost the plot.
Meanwhile, modern PHP has matured, evolved, and earned respect.
So the next time someone asks if HackLang is better than PHP, just send them this:
$ rm -rf HackLang
$ composer install laravel/laravel
Top comments (0)