How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Actually Enjoy Networking Events

The woman next to me at the Chamber of Commerce breakfast was explaining her "networking strategy" with the intensity of a military briefing when I realised I'd been doing this whole thing completely wrong for eight years.
She had colour-coded business cards, conversation starters memorised by industry, and a follow-up system that would make a CRM jealous. Meanwhile, I'd been showing up to these things hoping someone interesting would rescue me from the canapé table before I died of small talk poisoning.
That was 2018, and it marked the beginning of my reluctant transformation from networking avoider to someone who actually gets genuine value from professional events. Not because I learned better techniques or overcame my introversion, but because I finally figured out what networking actually is when you strip away all the performative nonsense.
The Networking Advice That Nearly Ruined My Career
Every networking guru will tell you the same thing: have your elevator pitch ready, set a goal for meaningful connections per event, follow up within 48 hours, and always be adding value to your network.
Sounds logical. Feels systematic. Completely misses the point.
I spent my first few years in business dutifully crafting elevator pitches that made me sound like a corporate brochure. I'd practice my 30-second introduction in the car on the way to events, then deliver it to anyone who'd listen like I was reading from a teleprompter.
The results were predictably awful. People would nod politely, hand me their business card, and immediately start scanning the room for someone more interesting to talk to. I'd go home with a pocket full of cards and no actual connections.
The breakthrough came when I stopped trying to network strategically and started going to events just to learn things I didn't know.
Instead of introducing myself as "a business consultant helping companies improve their operational efficiency," I started asking people about the problems they were trying to solve in their work. Instead of pitching my services, I got genuinely curious about their industries, their challenges, their perspectives on trends I was seeing elsewhere.
Suddenly, conversations became interesting. Not just for them – for me. I stopped watching the clock and started staying until they kicked us out.
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