We live in a world that constantly tells us to “fix our flaws.” Scroll through any bookstore or social media feed, and you’ll see countless self-improvement guides claiming to hold the key to success. But here’s a truth no one tells you: the more you obsess over fixing your weaknesses, the more you risk losing sight of your unique strengths. The more you chase after someone else’s formula for success, the more you drift away from your own path.
You see, every self-help book is a story of how someone else used their strengths to succeed. Their advice worked for them because it aligned with their personality, talents, and life circumstances. But what happens when their strengths aren’t yours? You follow their steps meticulously, yet the results don’t come. Slowly, self-doubt creeps in. You begin to think, “Maybe I’m just not good enough…” But the problem isn’t you. The problem is you’re trying to win their game, not yours.
I’ve been there. Back in university, I read a book called Expand Your Network! It made networking sound like the ultimate life hack. Motivated, I set myself a bold challenge: hitchhike 100 times to meet new people. But there was one small problem—I’m not great at striking up conversations with strangers. Every attempt was a struggle. The more I forced myself, the more I felt like a failure. Instead of becoming more confident, I became more convinced that I was hopelessly bad at building relationships. After completing all 100 hitchhikes, the only lesson I learned was: this method isn’t for me.
Looking back, I realized I had spent all that time trying to become a bird when I was meant to swim like a fish. I was flapping my fins in the air, wondering why I couldn’t fly, not realizing that I wasn’t designed to. It wasn’t a lack of effort. It was a mismatch of approach.
The world is full of people who thrive in different environments. Some succeed by cultivating deep relationships with a few close allies. Others flourish by building wide networks. Both paths are valid. But the key to success isn’t found in someone else’s journey. It’s discovered when you stop copying and start crafting your own playbook.
The most powerful thing you can do for yourself is to write your own “instruction manual.” Know your strengths. Embrace your unique talents. Design your workflow, your approach, and your strategies based on who you are—not who you’re told to be. When you align your actions with your natural strengths, life becomes less of an uphill battle. Tasks that once felt draining become energizing. You’ll no longer need to force yourself to stay motivated; progress will come naturally.
Here’s the liberating truth: Your success formula exists within you. Self-help books can inspire you, but they can’t define your path. The moment you stop obsessing over your flaws and start maximizing your strengths, you’ll unlock a version of yourself that’s authentic, confident, and unstoppable. Life’s game won’t feel like it’s set on “nightmare mode” anymore. You’ll be playing on a field where you know exactly how to win.
Stop trying to fix what’s “wrong” with you. Start building a life that celebrates what’s right with you.
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