How to Sound Like You Have a Philosophy

Begin with an idea.
Begin again.

Make it sound important.

Then important-er.

Say something vague that sounds like a quote from a misattributed philosopher but ends abruptly with a

Pause.
Thought.
Clarity.

Then we get really serious

By adding capitalized Ideas.
By capitalizing more Ideas.
By Capitalizing Literally Everything.

And end it all on a confusing yet powerful note:

Cabbage.