I have spent countless moments paralyzed in a pool of anxiety and frustration when attempting to answer the most pressing questions of adulthood:
"What are you going to do with your life?"
"Where do you see yourself in five years? 10? 20?"
"What are you passionate about?"
For the majority of my adulthood, I haven't known the answers to these questions. The weight of them invoked feelings of longing, sadness, and confusion...
Tune Out the Noise
Without divulging into my backstory (like an overdone anime flashback), I simply want to acknowledge that I am strongly aware that many, many, MANY people have these feelings as well. I know I am not alone in this. And honestly, I don't know if most people know what they truly want to do in life. In my eyes, I think most people know how they want to feel.
People want to feel good.
They want to feel happy.
Accepted.
Welcomed.
Loved.
Respected.
Because life is here and then it ceases, and that slightly unsettling feeling I get when I think about how all of this is temporary is enough to empower me to pursue what excites me.
I don't care if AI "takes 99% of jobs." (ugh, the fear-mongering of it all...)
I don't care if I never get a job as a software engineer.
I don't care if I learn web-development and then decide I want to do something else.
I am done making decisions based on frivolous headlines and anxieties.
Why Web Development Excites Me
At this point in my life, web development is exciting. It has been so fun to learn more about computers, the internet, coding, and programming (I just started learning Javascript two days ago). It's refreshing to learn without worrying about where it will lead.
My favorite websites to visit are the ones that welcome you with a kaleidoscope of personality and expression. It amazes me that someone (or a team!) designed and developed something so cool. I wanted to learn how to create websites like that, so I started dabbling with Webflow, a no-code website builder, back in 2024, entertaining the idea of becoming a web designer.
Buuuut, long story short, even after putting money into a Webflow course, I gave up. I was terrified of having to find clients and I was stressed that I would never be valuable enough compared to people who have been designing websites for years and years. Also, I must confess that making a responsive website from scratch boggled my mind and I was terrible at it...
And how in the world is it fair to compare oneself to someone who has spent way more time learning something??
I mean, of course I was not on that level, and I didn't really give myself a chance to get there! It's so silly when you think about it, but it doesn't feel that way when you're in the thick of it, does it?
Anyway, I deciding to take a break from learning Webflow after struggling with responsiveness, so I started a HTML & CSS course on YouTube to learn the fundamentals - but I did not finish that either. And no, not because it was hard. I simply decided I wanted to learn something else at that time, and honestly, I was not in a place mentally where I could have adequate focus on learning web development.
The Importance of Commitment
Historically, I have had a terrible habit of starting things and not finishing them because of 1) a poor self-concept, and 2) not knowing if it's something I could see myself doing for the rest of my life, which feels daunting. But I am taking the steps now to build meaningful habits because worrying about the future is not a practical use of my time.
That's why I embarked on a journey to learn full-stack web development through the amazingly free 100 Devs Software Engineering program! This program is led by Leon Noel, and all of the videos are generously hosted on YouTube for easy access. I am grateful that free content like this exists, especially considering that paid programs are not an option for many people.
I am committing to completing this course because I know I can do challenging things. I was going to say "I want to prove that I can do challenging things," but I want to reinforce that I know what I am capable of achieving. I graduated from basic training when I was in the Army, and that is THE MOST challenging thing I have done to date.
Also, most of us learned to walk and talk, and while I have no recollection of the experience, I assume it was quite challenging for us at the time!
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I am excited to learn, build, and eventually, solve problems and help create life-enhancing experiences for people. Because whether I'm doing web development or something else, I know these skills will positively shape my impact, no matter how I end up being of service in the world.
Now, I will continue learning Javascript with Scrimba so I can confidently complete my 100 Devs homework. I really enjoy how interactive Scrimba is. The Learn Javascript course is free - courtesy of the MDN. It is a very cool platform indeed! ☺️✨
If you have the luxury of doing so, remember to pursue what gets you excited to wake up in the morning and take inspired action.🌸
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