The Courage to Be Disliked: The Teachings of "Adler," the Father of Self-Enlightenment
Original Title: 嫌われる勇気 : 自己啓発の源流「アドラー」の教え
Author: Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga
Translator: Hsiao-yen Yeh
ISBN: 9789861371955
Book Recommendation Website: http://moo.im/a/biuGKR
Preface:
This book is probably a well-known one and has always been on my recommendation list. Actually, I've been looking at this one for a long time, and every time I read a chapter, it takes a considerable amount of time to ruminate on the content and think about many different aspects of the problem. Often, some dialogues in it will make people fall into past situational contexts and constantly think and reflect.
Even though my current job responsibilities may be the least afraid of being disliked (?), I was actually quite concerned about what others thought of me when I was working before. So I've often heard people tell me about this book. But I never had the courage to finish reading it (afraid of being disliked?), so I've never been able to share it. After buying it last year, I read this book intermittently, sometimes making me happy, sometimes making me feel the same way.
If you are very afraid of being disliked by colleagues (friends), afraid of saying the wrong thing and being looked down upon, afraid of asking the wrong questions? Perhaps you should also take a look at this book.
Content Introduction:
Why can't people change?
Why does self-pity always linger?
Why do we always live under the expectations of others?
Why can't we truly feel happiness now?
Perhaps it's because we lack the courage to be disliked by others!
A cynical young man comes to the philosopher's hut.
When he hears the philosopher's claim that "the world is incredibly simple, and everyone can be happy," he decides to overturn this fallacy.
This world is obviously complex and chaotic, where is the simplicity?
If happiness is really so easy, why is he still suffering so much?
They began a back-and-forth of thinking and debate.
The young man originally thought the philosopher was just a senile old man who was ignorant of reality,
But after night after night, the young man instead fell into contemplation: what exactly is this world like?
"So-called freedom is being disliked by others," the philosopher said.
How could this be? How could someone want to be disliked by others?
Why must one be disliked by others to obtain true freedom?
Is this world simple or complex? Can people really obtain happiness?……
The problem is not what the "world" is like, but what "you" are like.
Introduction from Readmoo: http://moo.im/a/biuGKR
The content of this book is mainly through the dialogue between two people, one is an elderly "philosopher" and the other is a "young man" who begins to doubt himself due to environmental changes.
The two people's back-and-forth dialogue starts from listening to the "young man's" troubles. Slowly, it goes to dialogues on life philosophies of different depths and directions. The main theme revolves around "Adlerian psychology."
Understanding Psychological Trauma
At first, the young man was quite depressed. He met the "philosopher," and the "philosopher" first analyzed how psychological trauma is caused, and who exactly caused the psychological trauma? Psychological trauma is often a habit caused by a certain "purpose." The child's psychological trauma is a habit of craving the attention of their parents. Adlerian psychology resolutely opposes the existence of psychological trauma.
Dissatisfied with the Current Situation
Many people often worry about the current situation and often complain. The "young man" has the same question, and the "philosopher" also answers him very wisely that many people's uneasy situations are chosen by themselves, caused by themselves. Not being at ease with the current environment, yet choosing "not to change." The unfortunate state of the uneasy situation is often caused by anger towards oneself.
Interpersonal Relationships
Next, the discussion is about the troubles that many people have: "interpersonal relationships." The "philosopher" says that interpersonal relationships are unavoidable troubles; as long as you don't live alone in the universe, people will definitely have the trouble of "interpersonal relationships." The trouble with self-identification is actually caused by "fear of others' views of oneself." Many times, the problems are actually the troubles brought by oneself. Fear of being disliked, fear of being excluded, is often caused by self-doubt.
Living in the Present and Dancing Through Life
Life is not teleological, but rather like a linear series of small ripples. There will be continuous new events, so there are many ups and downs in life. This makes everyone unable to comment on your life with a purpose. The important thing is to enjoy the present, and to enjoy your life step by step like a dance.
Thoughts:
Now I have finally finished reading this book, "The Courage to Be Disliked" explains the ideas and thoughts within, perhaps you and I know. But how many people can truly touch the depths of their hearts? Philosophical psychological books are probably like this, you may know the truth, but you can never agree with it. Through the dialogues in this book, the impact of the language, echoing the past situations. Perhaps you can "slightly" feel some of the ideas that the author hopes you can empathize with.
It's quick to highlight the key points of several chapters, but the content of many dialogues will actually impact your thoughts and touch your heart. Although it is a narrative dialogue, it can make you remember deeply through many of the dialogue contents. As if calling out your memories from the bottom.
I highly recommend everyone to read this book, but I don't recommend reading it all at once. Perhaps reading it slowly, carefully savoring each paragraph, each dialogue's intended meaning. Perhaps you can understand the principles the author wants to express.
This way you can truly absorb the meaning of this book.
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