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Live Long & Ponder
Live Long & Ponder

Posted on • Originally published at Medium

How I Found A Weapon Against Imposter Syndrome

From PM to Engineer to Interior Designer, imposter syndrome can be found anywhere


Back in school, it was easy to track how well I was doing.

I had conferences, grades, constant teacher feedback, and comparisons with my friends.

With all those in mind, I could focus on certain areas and adjust as necessary.

Reality hit me hard when I got into the “real world”.

A real job with loose expectations and little feedback.

I began to think I wasn’t doing well since no one was there to give me a grade or tell me I needed to do something different.

Working hard is great, but I realized I didn’t understand if my hard work was up to snuff or if I had optimized processes.

This process grew into my ever-dreaded IMPOSTER SYNDROME.

Photo by Miguel Luis on Unsplash

No Feedback Feeds The Imposter Monster

I wasn’t aware of how well I was doing my work, and began to compare myself to people around me. “Oh this person is doing so much work, I must be doing something wrong”.

Instead of asking others about their habits or schedules, I looked only at their output.

I may have been doing well, but couldn’t convince myself that was true.

This meant I was comparing my whole stack of work, to only a layer of theirs.

This isn’t ideal, but I was young and too afraid to ask questions at the time.

I continued this cycle until I moved on and became a PM and a leader of a team.

Learning How to Give and Receive Feedback

As a new PM I had no idea what I was doing.

I was an emergency fill for someone who spent a day bull-rushing through everything he could think of, then handing me the reins.

Oh yeah, and a massive deadline was one week away, perfect timing.

Luckily I had a group of experienced teammates I could rely on. They helped me get up to speed and were very open to telling me when I was wrong.

I learned I could no longer operate in a silo the way I used to, and sought to fix that.

We started 1:1 feedback sessions called “slowbacks” every Friday. It opened my eyes to what was missing.

Some of the first feedback I received was:

  • You seem like you’re afraid to fail, don’t be
  • Have more confidence
  • Approach unknowns with humility
  • Ask more questions

This woke me up and I still have DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL as a note on my home screen.

Personalize a Feedback Loop to Tame the Monster

Learning how to give and receive constructive criticism gave me a confidence boost.

I wanted to ensure that the application of these practices worked in any new team or position.

It’s not realistic to think I’d always have helpful teammates or a group accustomed to the practice of feedback.

I needed a personal system.

To do this I needed goals to measure my growth.

I started by setting some personal goals, using the techniques I wrote about here:

How a Personal Trainer Taught Me to Tackle Difficult Goals

Now I needed some way to check in on my goals.

One of my goals was to become a better frontend developer and moved to a new team for it.

Our team didn’t have specified time for feedback so I had to create my own.

I established my goals with my lead, and I began to sometimes ask for feedback. No set meeting, but asked whenever there was availability.

I would steer the questions towards my performance in certain areas given my focus each week. This would help me hone in on specifics, rather than receiving a general “You’re doing fine/bad”.

I came out of each session with notes to take back and examine against my goals.

Relevant notes would help adjust my scope all with my personal growth in mind.

There was a noticeable change in my positional confidence.

The sessions served as guardrails to help guide me to improving not only as an individual but as a teammate.

I understood my role better and had actionable steps to take for improvement.

After a while, this sort of transparency started to permeate through the team. More and more people shared where they wanted to grow and started asking for feedback.

Now we are working to make a more regular schedule for each teammate.

Everyone wants to get better, sometimes we don’t know how or when to ask.


This works great if you’re in a team, but is more difficult in positions where you may be the sole producer.

In this case, you can still garner valuable feedback, with more reflective effort.

Take time each week to review all the tasks you had.

  • If they were set by you were they valuable and effective?
  • Can you replace some?
  • Can you take on more?
  • Can I show my work to an unbias party for assessment?
  • Was this work pushing toward my end goal?

The person you’re asking will be yourself, and you will have to be objective about your work.

Treat it like a second-self holding you to higher standards, and ask a lot of introspective questions!

Conclusion

Imposter syndrome can manifest in many ways.

I let it seep in by working in a silo.

To help fight it you’ll want to establish goals and guardrails to keep your eye on the prize.

Don’t be afraid to ask others to help keep you on the right track, by being open and honest about your goals. It may inspire others to do the same!

If you’re in a place where you don’t have the luxury of outside feedback, set aside some time for personal reflection. Take time each week to look at your recent work. Ask objective questions to pull out the true value of your work.

Imposter syndrome is something everyone feels. Being willing to take it on can be rewarding for individuals and teams alike.


How have you fought back against Imposter Syndrome? Let me know!

This Article was originally posted on Medium

…Until Next time =)

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