It is a chilly October night and I sit on my uncomfortable chair sipping captain Morgan with grapefruit soda. I am a professional software engineer working for a big car company. I write software for their electric vehicles. I just discovered this website and the first thing I did is to subscribe the beginners thread. Sigh.
I did not do it because I wanted to refresh basics or help out new developers. I did it because I feel that I am not any better. I probably am, but that is not how I feel and that's important too. I have this feeling of having to prove myself to the super-mega-ultimate developer overlords (i.e any person who proclaims to be a developer). Is it low self programmer esteem? maybe, maybe not, but I know that despite having acquired good amount of knowledge in both my bachelors and masters in computer science I feel inferior to a person who has completed a crash course and written much more apps/ games in their own time. I do not do that. I do not code after work. I play video games and switch off my brain and binge porn/ Netflix.
I probably should not publish this post. I don't even know why I garbled up these paragraphs. I plan to code at home for myself. Do you guys think that would change things for me? I am seeking a sense of belonging as a software engineer. It might be nice, to belong.
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