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Hi, I'm Danzen.
I'm a junior full-stack developer on korean startup company as a full-time remote who have been working for 7 months.
On the first 2 months I was disciplined employee who code with mindfully critical thinking on any decision related to the code change work finish the tasks not just on time before deadline but also help my clients too even when I'm not asked to, and in my spare time I usually use it to learn new things or deepen my understanding on specific skills that still related to my work.
But after 2 months passed, I felt the work more become repetitive and made me bored, so this is the first time I play game while working, thinking it will reduce stress, but this is where my procrastination grow. Once procrastinate, the next days will do the same thing and even worse. This is also effect to my work performance like slow response to my clients, vibe coding hell instead mindful coding, and often deliver tasks near the deadline.
I noticed my habit is declining everyday. I'm start to procrastinate more often than before, never read books, never go to gym, never upgrade skills, don't have future plan, even the escape is playing game without joyful, the worse thing is I'm isolated in my house, is life is this small? And that is such a repetitive autopilot life that I wouldn't expect.
Then today I start to think critically about myself and life, my goal, what I want to be. By going to my rooftop, stargazing on the sky, I realized that world is endlessly big, I think about every human doing their actions every second, if I'm not doing anything, then time will be passed quicker than I imagined.
Actually this is not the first time I stand from my fall, I experienced this pattern dozens time, like making overhaul schedule to be followed next days but ended up fail. The fail pattern I noticed are mostly come from myself issues, like perfectionism, if I fail one of the action today and I will be shit that day. Or stop because I'm not motivated anymore.
Those are all wrong, I should just start the action with or without motivation and other luck will follows.
And this December 1st where I should begin again, especially to fix my declining habit and transfer them to be improving habit, even it just 1%, that's why I'm also start read 'Atomic Habits' book. Sorry for my bad english writing, but this is pure 100% journal from myself, hoping my writing skill could be improved. As clear writing will make clear thinking.
See you on next post. Probably we can talk about 'Socrates', the thinking master that I think it can be related to SWE.
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