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The Internet’s Addiction to Being Contrary

Richard Pascoe on January 29, 2026

Lately, I've noticed that many online discussions don't really feel like discussions anymore. Instead of exchanging perspectives, we often default ...
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👾 FrancisTRDev 👾

You have made some great observation on the state of online activity in general and it also reflects on the real world too.

When 2026 came around, I took heavy reflection and came to a conclusion that I have not been socializing more than I should. It's mostly because of my overthinking and having inferiority complex that I am not good enough to be around the people that knows more than me. I often resort of staying silent because I don't want to take so much energy in hopes others will understand my perspective. I am also scared to show off my work because of having that thought of people hating me.

I came to Dev.to ultimately because it is a good step for me to engage in the community by replying to posts, comments, and posting my developments without being egotistic (which I heavily try to avoid). It has been a great experience so far, especially where everyone is thoughtful and kind. I know that eventually I will reach a point where someone will come as the opposite of that here (which is not yet), but I understand that everyone is not the same, and that's okay! I haven't seen anyone on Dev.to, so far, that came off as defensive and mean yet (Maybe you have? We both have different experiences).

Although Dev.to has been great in keeping the environment inclusive and acknowledgment everyone's viewpoints, I hope it would spread throughout everyone on the internet and in real life. Good take and hope you had a great experience so far here!

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Pascal CESCATO

Hey! I read your articles, they're interesting. If somebody doesn't like one, he can skim… and even if there are some who know mre than you, there are plenty who know less - and will thank you for your posts.

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👾 FrancisTRDev 👾

Thanks Pascal! As Richard mentions, everyone has a different skill set and a different trail to follow. I appreciate the kind words from you! Hope you are having a great week as well :D

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Richard Pascoe

Really appreciate the kind words, Pascal - thank you! And honestly, that’s exactly why communities like DEV exist: we’re all at different stages of our learning journey.

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Richard Pascoe

Appreciate the thoughtful reply, Francis, and thanks for sharing your perspective.

Like you, I’ve had a positive experience on DEV overall. There was one slightly jarring interaction while commenting on another post, but it looks like the response was flagged and marked as “low quality” fairly quickly, which was reassuring. Before that happened, I made sure to disengage politely, so no harm done in the end - and it felt like a good example of the DEV team being attentive and proactive.

I joined this community for much the same reasons as you, and I’m really glad I did.

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👾 FrancisTRDev 👾

Glad you have a good experience so far Richard! It seems that you are a Trusted Member! That's good to hear. I also hope to become one as well. Either way, I will continue to interact to the community when I can and hope to learn from others and hopes that people will learn from me!

Looking forward to your posts in the future!

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Richard Pascoe

Yea, the Trusted Member status was a nice "win" that week for sure and I was honoured to be considered worthy of it.

It is obvious from your own engagement here that you have the community at the heart of all that you do, Francis. Look forward to seeing your own journey unfold!

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Pascal CESCATO

Your article comes at a perfect time for me. This week I experienced an ad hominem attack from a developer who simply disagreed with my point of view. I genuinely enjoy debate and I welcome contradiction — it’s often how we refine ideas — but personal attacks add nothing of value. I’m not a fan of dogmatic positions either.

A comedian once said, “You can discuss anything, but not with everyone.” With someone who is closed-minded, you can’t. With extremists — and they don’t only exist in religious contexts — you can’t either. It’s unfortunate, but we’re not going to change the world overnight. Maybe not today… but that doesn’t mean the conversation isn’t still worth having.

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Richard Pascoe

Thank you for sharing that, Pascal - I really resonate with your experience. It’s so frustrating when a discussion shifts from ideas to personal attacks, especially when you genuinely enjoy debate and learning from different perspectives.

I love the quote you shared: "You can discuss anything, but not with everyone." It’s a good reminder that some conversations aren’t going to go anywhere, and that’s okay. What matters is staying open and engaging where we can have productive dialogue.

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leob profile image
leob • Edited

Well-articulated, I agree 100 percent ...

"Communities where curiosity is valued over winning, and where disagreement doesn't immediately escalate into hostility, are becoming increasingly rare"

I think that dev.to is an example of one of those increasingly rare communities where respectful discussion is the norm rather than the exception - that's why it's one of my favorite communities!

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Richard Pascoe

Completely and utterly agree with you, leob. DEV is the rare jewel in the internet crown these days!

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leob

Indeed - to the point where I hardly visit any other "dev" sites anymore nowadays (apart from general discussion fora like reddit etc) - dev.to just aces it!

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Richard Pascoe

DEV is certainly a rare space these days, I agree. With the few others sites I do visit these days - mostly gaming-related - I stay as far away from the comments section as possible!

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Evan Lausier

Good read, Ive observed the same. "If youre not with me, youre against me". Gaming is a good example... "I like to farm materials and craft stuff" vs "I like to do the missions and got the loot boxes". They are both fun for their respective players.

Two things can be true at once. I like it, thank you for bring this up.

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Richard Pascoe

You’re welcome, and I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Evan. I really liked your example as well - it nicely reinforces that it’s okay to be different.

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Seb Hoek

All we can do is to connect with like-minded people and continue being constructive in our discussions and nuanced in our views. Thanks for your post!

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Richard Pascoe

Appreciate the comment, Seb and couldn't have said it better myself!

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Daniel Trix Smith

“Contrarian over curious” is such a sharp way to put it.

Online discussions feel less about learning now and more about defending identity.

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Richard Pascoe

Indeed, Daniel and hopefully - through communities like DEV - we can always have those useful discussions!