Software engineer obsessed with accessibility in tech, pretty code, fiber crafts, and her dogs' happiness. Looking for a team that's excited about building with accessibility and inclusion in mind.
Jason. Unironically and without sarcasm, I will say: You're amazing. You're so supportive and have such a great attitude and perspective on this, and I hope more people can view their neurodivergence the way you do, myself included!
However, often we don't have more struggles than the "average person"; we simply have different, more noticeable struggles; remember, many people are afraid to admit to their weaknesses, instead putting on a show of Having It All Together.
This one is so true. It's so easy to think that everyone else is doing fine so there must definitely be something wrong with you, but not realizing that others are probably thinking the same about you!
And if you do indeed have more or greater struggles than most others, consider that your potential is proportionately greater as well!
I really like the way you framed this. It's a good reminder for myself and others whenever they're in a period of struggle to know that there's a lot of good that can and will come soon once you get past that challenge.
And! Just in case. I want to make clear that I don't think I am broken or that my brain is defective or that any neurodivergent person is. We're not. I love ND brains and yikes I really hope that that didn't come through in my last comment!
I realize it's super important to explain that I'm coming from a point of view where a disorder should only be labeled a disorder (and thus only given "treatment") if your condition or symptoms are causing you and/or the people close to youlong-lasting, significant distress. And it's the distress that needs treating. I know that that's not always how others, even (or especially?) others in the psych or neuro field, define a disorder. I think I was taught a slightly more holistic/humanistic approach to diagnoses and I realize that people can't read my mind(!) and that that's not everyone's interpretation of it.
I call the suffering that ADHD causes a person the disorder, not the ADHD itself. If someone is not suffering from their ADHD? What disorder? Nothing to "fix". And jeez, I realize the irony of that considering that "disorder" is in the name. :)
There's such a harmful view on AS and ADHD (and more!) as something that needs to be fixed or cured and everyone immediately defaulting to calling it a disorder that needs fixing is suuuper problematic and causes ND people a lot of pain. So I apologize that I may have come off that way!
I wanted to point out that for me and others some of those ADHD tendencies can cause a lot of suffering, and seeing so many people talk about their ND superpowers can feel a little disheartening because then we're sitting there just wondering "hey, when are these superpowers going to kick in?" and it's a pretty lousy feeling. And sometimes people need outside help to manage their ND tendencies and get to those superpowers and that's okay! It's kind of like when you feel like crap after a lot of other crap has happened and someone tells you to 'stay positive and look at the bright side!' Sometimes it's simply not helpful. Sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge all the crap. And sometimes you need help dealing with all the crap.
I wanted to highlight and show that, yes, there are superpowers, but yes, there is also a lot of pain that people deal with. I want people to know that they're not alone in those struggles and that it's normal and okay. (Especially important for those who might not have the resources available for them to accommodate their ADHD traits in a society that won't accommodate them.) Like you said, a lot of people hide their weaknesses and struggles and I wanted to make the struggle more visible. BUT, taking what you said, it's also important for people to know that they have just as much potential for greatness as they do struggles.
Not to be trite but I'll repeat: We are awesome. We do have superpowers. Sometimes they come at a great personal cost but I know that it'll always be a cost we can overcome.
Wow that was a hugely long ramble. Thank you for your comments and for reading all this!
Jason. Unironically and without sarcasm, I will say: You're amazing. You're so supportive and have such a great attitude and perspective on this, and I hope more people can view their neurodivergence the way you do, myself included!
This one is so true. It's so easy to think that everyone else is doing fine so there must definitely be something wrong with you, but not realizing that others are probably thinking the same about you!
I really like the way you framed this. It's a good reminder for myself and others whenever they're in a period of struggle to know that there's a lot of good that can and will come soon once you get past that challenge.
And! Just in case. I want to make clear that I don't think I am broken or that my brain is defective or that any neurodivergent person is. We're not. I love ND brains and yikes I really hope that that didn't come through in my last comment!
I realize it's super important to explain that I'm coming from a point of view where a disorder should only be labeled a disorder (and thus only given "treatment") if your condition or symptoms are causing you and/or the people close to you long-lasting, significant distress. And it's the distress that needs treating. I know that that's not always how others, even (or especially?) others in the psych or neuro field, define a disorder. I think I was taught a slightly more holistic/humanistic approach to diagnoses and I realize that people can't read my mind(!) and that that's not everyone's interpretation of it.
I call the suffering that ADHD causes a person the disorder, not the ADHD itself. If someone is not suffering from their ADHD? What disorder? Nothing to "fix". And jeez, I realize the irony of that considering that "disorder" is in the name. :)
There's such a harmful view on AS and ADHD (and more!) as something that needs to be fixed or cured and everyone immediately defaulting to calling it a disorder that needs fixing is suuuper problematic and causes ND people a lot of pain. So I apologize that I may have come off that way!
I wanted to point out that for me and others some of those ADHD tendencies can cause a lot of suffering, and seeing so many people talk about their ND superpowers can feel a little disheartening because then we're sitting there just wondering "hey, when are these superpowers going to kick in?" and it's a pretty lousy feeling. And sometimes people need outside help to manage their ND tendencies and get to those superpowers and that's okay! It's kind of like when you feel like crap after a lot of other crap has happened and someone tells you to 'stay positive and look at the bright side!' Sometimes it's simply not helpful. Sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge all the crap. And sometimes you need help dealing with all the crap.
I wanted to highlight and show that, yes, there are superpowers, but yes, there is also a lot of pain that people deal with. I want people to know that they're not alone in those struggles and that it's normal and okay. (Especially important for those who might not have the resources available for them to accommodate their ADHD traits in a society that won't accommodate them.) Like you said, a lot of people hide their weaknesses and struggles and I wanted to make the struggle more visible. BUT, taking what you said, it's also important for people to know that they have just as much potential for greatness as they do struggles.
Not to be trite but I'll repeat: We are awesome. We do have superpowers. Sometimes they come at a great personal cost but I know that it'll always be a cost we can overcome.
Wow that was a hugely long ramble. Thank you for your comments and for reading all this!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words.
Believe me, I know a thing or ten about hugely long rambles. ;) It's not a problem; I appreciate everything you're saying.