Best/Worst Day

Burdette Lamar on September 23, 2018

In the movie City Slickers, one of the slickers was asked what were the best and worst days of his life. He described the best first, at some le... [Read Full]
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A new team lead was appointed to our department. we started off on the wrong foot. I ended up with him at HR where we both were practically shouting and it was certainly my worst day... all I felt was hate towards him because to me it seemed as if he was looking at me as being “less” because of my gender. Next day I went in with my resignation letter. Our production manager looked at my resignation letter and asked me if I felt inferior to men? And I said I was equal... he said, be more... stand your ground. 5 months later, I won 2 awards, gained our team leads trust and he recommended me as his substitute ( He was an offshore resource from India) and I got promoted... I stood my ground and I also earned an amazing friend. My former team lead always texts me and asks if I’m already someone else’s “headache” or not 😅😅

 

With my short working experience, I unfortunately also come across someone who thinks "less" of women in the workforce. At first I thought it was a personal problem but I got shared experiences with other women from other teams. Position is not a factor because even women in higher position was targeted. I eventually left the company but never had the chance to get across this argument. I still hope the situation improve there and pray to never come across one in the future.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, basically what my manager told me was that if you go away, eventually the same will happen to other women in your team so stand your ground. Right before I wanted to move to Germany my former team lead invited me over for dinner and we actually discussed it. He said he thought women couldn’t handle it but now he sees things differently. That was incredible to hear. We hired 3 software engineers, he and I discussed each candidate independent of their gender. We ended up hiring 3 brilliant women. I think we should stand our ground and not be bullied. In my case HR wasn't really helpful, but couldn't you file a report and have a face to face discussion with him about it? I think it's a good idea to let him know, cause sometimes men really do not know they are doing it unless you point it out because of them never being the subject of such discrimination maybe.

Right now I'm just glad that that chapter is over. Looking back, not bringing it up is one of my regrets. Should've stand my ground at that time but I guess burn out got the best of me. I officially left for different reason which we discussed and came to an understanding at the end. I totally agree with you, he is oblivious about the discrimination. The HR (being also a woman) didn't help. It was tragic that I just gave up at that matter. I left to save my own skin not thinking of other women after me. I should've been braver. I hope to have the courage to speak about it (to him) someday. I'm happy things worked out for you. Your story is an inspiration for us women in the field.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Your situation was completely different and we always do our best . 🤘🏻❤️🤘🏻

 

Best day, the day I was notified after 17 interviews with every level of management at a firm I was interested in that they wanted to extend me a senior director offer, a step up from the principal architect position I was already occupying at a different company.

Worst was when I went in later that week for paper signing and the shitty regional director for the firm demanded I accept a senior consultant role to "prove myself," a five year leap backward and $70k cut in pay. After I declined, I found out through a friend at the firm that the same director wasted no time in offering the director role to one of his fellow Indian male friends with no "test period" required.

Fast forward three years and the same friend informed me he was leaving due to the same director being promoted, in the ensuing time having turned most of the company into a nepotistic $h1t$h0w, running off most of the talent in the process.

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