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re: How can we create better discussions in the dev community? VIEW POST

FULL DISCUSSION
 

It's an interesting discussion to have. I guess it's a conversation that we could have about every single area of our lives, not just the dev community.

Personally, whenever I deal with other people, I only focus on myself. If the other person display any kind of negative emotions, I ask myself if this negative emotion is justified. Did I do a poor job at expressing myself? Was I offensive? It's especially important for me as English is not my native language. I always try to find something constructive in criticism, even if it fucking hurts when the other person insults you.

Next, if that person just doesn't seem to have any good reason for being upset or disrespectful , I try to let it go. I just decide not to answer to unprovoked anger or disrespect, especially on the Internet.

I try to remind myself that by trying to participate in a community ( such as dev.to ), we are exposing ourselves to others opinions and judgements. And because a lot of developers come from a self-taught background ( like myself ), it's really easy to feel shattered by rude comments. But I think people like these will always exist, or we can all have a bad day, or we just don't re-read what we just wrote and hit Submit.

In the end, I believe my mindset is the best way to bounce back from those hurtful remarks. I can't control other people's anger, so if I had nothing to do with that anger, let's move on.

 

Damien, really good observation regarding self-evaluation. That instead of going to blame, actually trying to parse if there was something to have caused an alternative outcome.

I agree, coming to letting it go quicker is often the best solution. Thanks for sharing your experience. Your English seems quite good!

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