damn!! first off, that was a great comment. I felt like I was reading a book and it consumed me in to this world. Second off, if you ever need a friend, I'm here for you. I'm sorry you have so many hard things in your life that you have to fun from.
I heard a lot of things that I relate to. I used to work a job like that and I quit, and I am so proud of myself for quitting. No one should ever be controlled like that. It should be against the law!
You did the right thing. My company isn't at fault this time. It was myself. That was the core of my post, that I am my own worst enemy.
Like you, I take it upon myself to work these insane hours even if not asked to do so, out of pure paranoia or due to a pressure I let myself build up.
It's ok to tell other people no or to tell them what a realistic amount of work looks like. I just feel guilty because I'm a people pleaser. but then I get overworked, bitter and grouchy so in the end it doesn't please anyone!
We (I assume you and I because if what I read), tend to do all this work and we think it's upon us to carry the team but really we need to step back and realize we are not that important. We are not special. Both of our companies will live on even after we leave.
That is what I'm really focusing on changing. Is being humble. Yesterday, a project that I had a good amount of time on, got introduce to everyone. And my name didn't get listed. It hurt but I didn't speak up because honestly, I need to learn to be humble. I just thought about all the work that others did on it and learned to be happy they got credit.
We both work our asses off, but letting it get to us is actually worst than if we were lazy, because we end up tearing others down by pure exhausting and frustration. I did it with my last coworker. He was burnt out and defeated by his position, and so I ended up with most of the work. Instead of lifting him up and helping him, I just complained and argued with him.
I see that now. Yes, he put me in a bad situation and i took it as long as I could but I didn't have to take that extra work on. I didn't have to become bitter about it. I should have just told him that he needed to pick up on his end or let him know that I would need to bring in a manager to fix the situation.
At the end of the day, I encourage you to learn from this event, to humble yourself. Forgive yourself for being so hard on yourself. To learn that you are not required to work more than the next guy. Find the joy in it again. If you're in Phoenix, AZ USA, then hit me up and I'll see if I can get you a job.
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