re: Share Your Experiences with Impostor Syndrome VIEW POST


I could write a novel.

The first thing I want to state is that for a very long time, I had it bad. We had just combined teams via a corporate merger and we got a guy who seemed to just know every common language out there and was just stupid proficient in all of them.

And as someone who came up through the design world, I'm already easily pushed into the mindset of "Why don't you just let the adults work and go play Mario Kart?" This introduction via his past work really didn't help. And keep in mind that I've been doing this since just before jQuery was even born. That simple fact should extinguish irrational feelings like this, but it doesn't.

Anyway: this perpetual, weapons-grade inferiority complex was in my head for awhile. And by that I mean "well over a year, right up until I quit that job for unrelated, personal reasons." I only really shook it when I started interviewing again. I have separate thoughts on the whole engineering interview process these days - I'll save that for a proper post - but suffice it to say, walking away from an environment that was unintentionally making me feel so ill-equipped was the smartest thing I could've done.

  • I've started banging around on projects I've wanted to start for years.
  • In interviews of all stripes and rounds, I'm rarely saying "I don't know."
  • I'm boning up on more modern JS frameworks than I'd ever get to play with or study at all in that old gig.

All of this has a compound affect of convincing myself that maybe I'm not a drooling moron after all. :)

There will always be things that make me pause. DS&A seems to perpetually be my weak area; one day, before the heat death of the universe, I'll figure out exactly what voodoo webpack is doing that messes with otherwise "normal" variable and object scoping. But one of the most important things I realized through the past several weeks of funemployment is that no one knows everything; it's impossible to know everything. The good coders and the bad coders are separated simply by figuring out which ones are willing to learn something new or learn how to do something better.

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