Discussion on: Dealing with praise

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Christian Bewernitz

First I would say there are different levels of praise. E.g. feedback, compliments, kudos, ...

I think how every one of them is perceived, has a lot to do with the cultural and social background, so it might land totally different than it was meant.

This is especially true if the people involved are having different privileges or roles (developer, team lead, manager, customer just to mention a few).

Since I want to be as honest and authentic as possible in my life, I will never give such feedback just "to be polite", "to motivate" or because of "some company policy".
(I have done this earlier in my live but have stopped doing this for years.)

There is an improved chance to be understood, when you are adding to your "praise" why exactly you liked it.

In which way did it help you or contribute to your life/work:

  • Did the person jump in when nobody else was available?
  • Did the person solve a problem faster than anybody expected?
  • Did it help you to understand or question something?
  • Are you happy something gets done you couldn't find time to do?
  • Do you feel more confident because the solution the person provided is very sound or even SOLID?
  • Did he sacrifice his life time or social life for something? (Hopefully not praising this aspect to much to encourage it should stay this way.)
  • ...

I totally agree that I would question the last two phrases.