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Discussion on: How do you stay focused when everything sucks?

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Kasey Speakman • Edited

Re: grief. I try to remember that there are people who love me and that tomorrow it probably won't hurt as much as today. I try to avoid painful triggers and distract myself (coding, hobby, sleep, whatever works at the time), even if just mechanically going through the motions. Pray if that suits you -- I do. When I feel ready, I might talk to someone. Nothing too deep, maybe a memory connected to the loss. Along the path of grief, I think I am finally in a good place one day, but the next day all the hurt comes flooding back. Grief is fluid like that, but on average it gets slowly better each day. One day, I may even be able to think about it without hurting.

One time when I was going through a loss, I read the short book "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. It was very cathartic. It is also ironic because prior to that, one of C.S. Lewis's books (and speeches) was reconciling why pain and loss is a necessary part of the human condition. But when he lost his wife... well the book goes to show that pain cannot hear reasoned arguments.