In the past month alone, here are some of the things I've experienced:
Quick Tip for being inclusive to women in tech: if you're teaching HTML/CSS, please do not use a woman without makeup as HTML and a woman with makeup as CSS. Because styling is required for almost any app, it implies that makeup is *required.* Thx for coming to my Ted Talk.— Lindsey Kopacz (@littlekope0903) February 14, 2019
An actual response I got from a man who was trying to empathize, but first questioning my experience.
There was this gem where I quote tweeted a man I agreed with
Just yesterday I was told that my experience as a woman in tech happens to both men and women. Y’all need to stop minimizing experiences for your own damn ego.https://t.co/VjWvA4LWOI— Lindsey Kopacz (@littlekope0903) February 23, 2019
To which I got this response and I immediately blocked.
I definitely appreciate having a day dedicated to celebrating women, but I feel like a lot of it gets to be "Rah Rah Women, let's support them" without any of the real experiences that many of us face every single day.
The amount of men who assumed a badass front end woman who knows JS and began mansplaining what ‘this’ is.... is not shocking but also super angering. https://t.co/r1TBVDlxza— Lindsey Kopacz (@littlekope0903) March 3, 2019
Of course there was a man who brings in the typical "why you gotta make it about gender" thing:
We have coping mechanisms. A lot of times I use humor to cope. For example, to the whole "why bring gender into the conversation" I quote tweeted the above tweet (you can't see it because I blocked him):
I had to block this guy because he had no right to my time:
The response to his tweet about me ignoring him was particularly false and offensive.
We block, mute, ignore, so please don't even bother giving me or any woman that suggestion as if it's that easy. Words hurt and sometimes defaulting to ignoring the behavior allows the offender to continue their toxic behavior. They probably will not change, but they know they can't get away with it for me. Any time the women in tech put ourselves out there, we are putting ourselves at risk. Especially the brave women who stand up to toxic masculinity.
I thankfully have more people who support me than don't, but I really wish people would realize how much their words matter, even the ones who mean well.
I started/continued to code in 2019 because...
I wanted to create things. I wanted to help others. I wanted to make an impact. I want to have a salary that allows me to save for the future.
I deserve credit for...
- How quickly I pick up new things. I've only been writing tests for 3 months, and my boss told me how much he loved how comprehensive they are. I usually grow at exponential speed.
- How well I can engage with the community.
- How much effort I put into self-improvement and helping others
I hope to see my work/developer/tech community...
Actually, care about women, invest in inclusion efforts instead of just tokenizing them and asking them to speak at your event. Have a CoC for their conferences, Slack groups, and events.
Top comments (11)
❤️❤️❤️ thanks for sharing ❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️ Your post inspired me so much to be brave and post this. I almost wasn't going to.
It is shaming how we (men) try to be superior in everything, is not about knowledge, it is about domination, a stupid domination. Your efforts to teach something aways being contested, it is so unfair. Women making a real effort to teach and spread knowledge, men making a show to exhibit (doubtful) knowledge, the main difference of who wants others to grow e who wanna applause.
Thank you for sharing your power, strong and great actions to deal with this!
Not the point of this post at all, but I am super glad I made the "good example" category. Thanks for sharing your story! I especially loved this part:
Yeah, I actually confused someone on Twitter because he thought I was offended by what you said and I was like no no, that's not what was bad. It was the dude's response to that.
I saw that! It was an odd interaction :/
I think he just got confused, it's all good!
Just want to bring my full encouragement so you can keep building things, helping others and making an impact on this industry. Being self-taught is a huge merit on itself and I know that skill will keep on getting further developed. So yeah congrats and keep it up :)
Thanks, Juan! I'm very proud of how far I've come!
In my career, I have had more women given me more opportunities to learn and grow. The ratio has been 7:3 if not more. To a point, when I look for an opportunity, the make up of the team was more important than the salary.
Thanks for sharing.