Thank you for sharing! Starting out on that first job can be very intimidating. Thankfully we learn a lot and stick with it and overcome. As one who's getting more "seasoned" as a Dev, I'm grateful for the new devs and the perspective they bring.
One of the questions you posed at the start of the article stuck out to me: "Have I learned enough for my colleagues to value me?" I feel like this is a good question, but the way it's asked is dangerous. I know this was an example of an anxious question--I know I've asked it before--but I wanted to take a minute and share what I've learned and my perspective on this question.
The way this question is asked puts an unnecessary emphasis on what your colleagues think. Unfortunately it's impossible for you to read their minds and know what they're feeling. Because of this, you're left to guess and guessing someone's thoughts or feeling is really dangerous for the vast majority of people. We often paint a much worse picture than what reality is when we're left to read minds and this can really hurt ourselves unnecessarily.
So, I said this was a good question just asked in the wrong way. What would be a better way to ask this? Here are a few options:
Am I adding value to the company?
Am I providing value to my peers?
Am I doing the best I can do?
Asking it like this turns the focus to you and asks it in a way that can be quantified (depending on the metrics gathered). Turning the focus onto you eliminates guesswork. The only mind you have to read is your own, which you're probably pretty good at by now. This also puts you in control of the outcomes. Instead of blaming others, you'll know if you're struggling and where you can improve.
So, if you find yourself asking a question like this one, try to phrase it in a way that you can control and that will give you a path forward that's more clear than guesswork.
Thanks again for your thoughts!
For further actions, you may consider blocking this person and/or reporting abuse
We're a place where coders share, stay up-to-date and grow their careers.
Thank you for sharing! Starting out on that first job can be very intimidating. Thankfully we learn a lot and stick with it and overcome. As one who's getting more "seasoned" as a Dev, I'm grateful for the new devs and the perspective they bring.
One of the questions you posed at the start of the article stuck out to me: "Have I learned enough for my colleagues to value me?" I feel like this is a good question, but the way it's asked is dangerous. I know this was an example of an anxious question--I know I've asked it before--but I wanted to take a minute and share what I've learned and my perspective on this question.
The way this question is asked puts an unnecessary emphasis on what your colleagues think. Unfortunately it's impossible for you to read their minds and know what they're feeling. Because of this, you're left to guess and guessing someone's thoughts or feeling is really dangerous for the vast majority of people. We often paint a much worse picture than what reality is when we're left to read minds and this can really hurt ourselves unnecessarily.
So, I said this was a good question just asked in the wrong way. What would be a better way to ask this? Here are a few options:
Asking it like this turns the focus to you and asks it in a way that can be quantified (depending on the metrics gathered). Turning the focus onto you eliminates guesswork. The only mind you have to read is your own, which you're probably pretty good at by now. This also puts you in control of the outcomes. Instead of blaming others, you'll know if you're struggling and where you can improve.
So, if you find yourself asking a question like this one, try to phrase it in a way that you can control and that will give you a path forward that's more clear than guesswork.
Thanks again for your thoughts!