When starting a new job, I tend to enter it cautiously optimistic. I don't consider it a reality until I can touch it, literally. Whenever I start a new job, it doesn't hit until I first enter the building or get to my workstation. The same thing happened when I joined the Develop Carolina apprenticeship program as a software developer. I couldn't bring myself to celebrate the new opportunity until I had something tangible in hand. In this case, it was a cardboard box.
It's weird how a box can contain so many things. Not only does it provide the equipment needed to do my new job, but it also brings excitement and the realization that "this is happening." It can also contain less inviting things, like imposter syndrome or an excess amount of packaging material.
Those doubts stem from my past experiences. When I first pivoted my career into software development, I was thrown into the deep end. I only worked on small personal projects by that point and never worked on any large-scale application development. I was lucky to have an amazing team lead, who was patient and understanding, but I was riddled with imposter syndrome. I had the same generic title of Fullstack Developer as the seniors on the team, and I felt that I needed to be at the same skill level as them. In hindsight, that was ridiculous since I was new to the field, but I didn't know any better.
But luckily, that is the beauty of now being an apprentice. I have a new opportunity to define myself, and I know it is expected of me, as Miss Frizzle says, to "Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy." And I fully intend to do that. By the end of my apprenticeship, I hope to further develop my technical skills to be more on par with my peers, expand my support network, have more self-confidence, and ultimately have fun. I look forward to being able to work and grow with my fellow apprentices every morning. It has only been the first week, and I have already learned a lot, both professionally and personally.
So look out world, this cardboard Pandora's box is open, and I can't wait to see what is inside (once I get through all this packaging).
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