Social Worker + software engineer💻. I love finding tech solutions to social problems.
Mother of 2 kiddos and 3 dogs. 🐶👶
Jeep driver ✌.
Soap maker🧼.
Coffee fiend☕.
🇮🇹 Italian + 🇨🇺 Cuban
I think this brings up a really valuable conversation - and I think it's incredibly important to view the other side to fully understand the scope. I'm actually in the middle of a research project through the University of Washington with another professor on working fathers who have children with disabilities and how they manage (or don't) work-life integration. I have found a lot of interesting perspectives from Dads.
There is actually a really great research article I read called "The New Male Mystique" that talks about how the "ideal" man today has the pressure of not only being successful as a financial provider but they are also expected to be more involved with family than before women entered the work field. Additionally, flat earnings, the blur between work-home life (with not only technology like Slack but also now with COVID) and declining job security all create a lot of pressure with Dads. And those pressures are often unspoken of.
So, to answer your question. I would say definitely do not be more understanding for a Mom than a Dad. The pressures are on both sides - it's just that there is very little research done on this topic when it comes to Dads, and men are likely less willing to talk about their feelings and the pressures they are experiencing (another social convention to break). But to address one piece of this (working Moms), you must address the other (working Dads).
So what can you do to address the issue? This is hard because each situation is unique - some men really find their meaning in work and have more of a traditional attitude and some come from a more family-centric attitude, where they'd like to spend less time working and more time with their kids but cannot because of financial responsibilities. That being said, I'll outline a few suggested things you could do - and honestly, it's mostly about the culture you provide:
Ask the Dads on your team! What can you provide for them? Find solutions that tailor towards them and their specific needs in their roles - and continue to evaluate these and make changes as needed (could be part of an onboarding process - normalize it).
Encourage Dad's to work only the hours they are required to work - get rid of the assumption that working long hours makes you more valuable
Create a culture where men are not jeopardized for using flexibility - this can be done by doing setting an example and doing it yourself, or asking them to do it. You can also address how to work more effectively as a team - eliminate unnecessary meetings that could be done through Slack or emails.
Develop a career path that includes flexibility - this makes it feel less impossible for Dads to be able to have promotions. QUALITY > QUANTITY.
Provide opportunities for men to talk about it - at my current job, we have 2 Slack channels we all vent in - #parents (for all the cute kid stuff) and #parents-the-dark-side (for venting, asking for advice, etc.). It might even be beneficial and get more Dad activity if you create one specifically for Dads.
It makes me really excited that you are thinking a lot about this and trying to ensure you're not just addressing one piece of the societal structure but both ends! Your employees are really lucky to have you.
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I think this brings up a really valuable conversation - and I think it's incredibly important to view the other side to fully understand the scope. I'm actually in the middle of a research project through the University of Washington with another professor on working fathers who have children with disabilities and how they manage (or don't) work-life integration. I have found a lot of interesting perspectives from Dads.
There is actually a really great research article I read called "The New Male Mystique" that talks about how the "ideal" man today has the pressure of not only being successful as a financial provider but they are also expected to be more involved with family than before women entered the work field. Additionally, flat earnings, the blur between work-home life (with not only technology like Slack but also now with COVID) and declining job security all create a lot of pressure with Dads. And those pressures are often unspoken of.
So, to answer your question. I would say definitely do not be more understanding for a Mom than a Dad. The pressures are on both sides - it's just that there is very little research done on this topic when it comes to Dads, and men are likely less willing to talk about their feelings and the pressures they are experiencing (another social convention to break). But to address one piece of this (working Moms), you must address the other (working Dads).
So what can you do to address the issue? This is hard because each situation is unique - some men really find their meaning in work and have more of a traditional attitude and some come from a more family-centric attitude, where they'd like to spend less time working and more time with their kids but cannot because of financial responsibilities. That being said, I'll outline a few suggested things you could do - and honestly, it's mostly about the culture you provide:
It makes me really excited that you are thinking a lot about this and trying to ensure you're not just addressing one piece of the societal structure but both ends! Your employees are really lucky to have you.