For the last couple of weeks, I had felt lost tired. Even good things that got me excited had me flustered. I was in a textbook rut. It felt like the work was crashing in and I couldn't breathe. This is the story of the long-overdue break.
When a person is fresh, work doesn't even seem like work. The effort you put in to achieve your goals is minimal in comparison to when you are feeling burnt.
Let me take you back a week prior to the big break. I was doing what I needed to in regards to work, reaching out to people, and having conversations. I did it that week and the week even before that, like I should if I want a job. The logical part of my brain said "yes stay on the plotted course, keep steady" but my brain was cooked. I couldn't manage it, it tried to keep reminding itself that "life is going to get simpler, some stress will be mitigated" but just like in any horror movie the call was coming from inside the house.
My brain got into this weird for loop where it would remind itself that if you want less stress you must work hard for it now! The only exit condition for this loop would be for me to get burnt out. As the loop dictated I met the exit condition. I missed the signals my brain was trying to tell me, I wanted the job so bad I was blinded to the fact I wasn't even productive this miscalculation cost me. Without family and friends pointing me in the right direction, I could have lost a lot more. So over this past weekend, I had decided to take a break, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. So Tuesday rolls around and I was nervous. For what reason I am not sure. I had felt guilty for most of that first day, antsy, I just could sit still. I thought all of the jobs would vanish. For that day I mostly drove around listening to music just to get out of this headspace. By the end of the day, I had this weird peace. I wasn't sure why but I couldn't complain at that point. The next morning was a lot better. I saw the board a bit clearer. I started to notice that there was a forest beyond the tree I was looking at!
Now that I have gotten that world's cheesiest but true quote out of the way we can return back to reality. Later on, the second day I felt it creeping back in. A modified case of the Sunday Scaries on Wednesday of course. It's a reasonable thought. You don't wanna be back in the situation that you were in. I am not talking about working, working is what people need to do to live. It's that feeling that you can barely keep your head above water. That sucks, so I decided I needed an action plan to take its place just so if I ever have a feeling like this again I can make the right call and save myself some headaches and be more productive.
I don't see this problem going away. People are going to become burnt out. But instead of just getting bummed out just think that it's inevitable I can take action steps. Now later that night I still felt the Modified Sunday Scaries but knowing I had a plan to deal with them going forward made going to bed that night much easier.
Thanks, Mike
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