I didn’t truly understand the value of a nursing station until my health and career were on the line. My understanding had been surface level: a place for mothers to feed their babies. I learned it is so much more.
(This is a taboo topic, but I feel like people don't know the value of nursing stations because it's uncomfortable to talk about. I don't care. I'm going to quickly address it, so that more people understand and develop empathy.)
My first solo work trip after becoming a mother was to our company’s 16th anniversary conference. With 8,000 employees, it felt like a festival. The event was held at Oakland Arena, where the Golden State Warriors used to play. And I was going to be on that stage, hosting an AI game show segment. It was a creative, risky opportunity. My focus was on performance: Was my hair right? Did my outfit work? Would my script land? I did not want to look silly in front of the entire engineering org.
I was not wrong to focus on this: my CEO ended up watching! Like THEEE Jack Dorsey.
The last thing on my mind was bringing a breast pump. I’d never had luck with one, and my baby and I are inseparable, so I never really needed one. I was also secretly hoping that traveling was my chance to finally wean my daughter. I’d only planned to nurse for six months; at eight months, we were still going with no end in sight.
I flew for six hours, arrived at midnight, and went to bed. To my surprise, I woke up in excruciating pain. I developed mastitis.
Mastitis is an inflammation of breast tissue. A blocked milk duct causes swelling, pain, and flu like symptoms. If it becomes infected, it requires antibiotics. If not, the solution is simple: you need to remove the milk. Your body produces milk on a conditioned schedule. When that milk isn’t expressed, the ducts block and stopping abruptly can wreak havoc on your body and mood.
I panicked and called my husband, but there’s nothing he could really do. He advised me to buy a pump. Duh. I rushed to a nearby store, but they didn’t sell pumps. I was starting to feel fatigued, and I didn’t have it in me to search for pumps at more stores. I knew my team was probably wondering where I was, so I just went to meet them in the arena. Maybe it wasn’t that bad.
After sitting there for what felt like hours probably just one the pain was unbearable. My chest ached. My head throbbed. Then I remembered: someone in Slack mentioned that this event had a nursing station.
Inside, the nursing station was stocked with everything hospital grade pumps, disposable parts, snacks, even a screen showing the main stage. I was so happy. I could not survive a few more days at this event without a pump. Every few hours after that, I visited the room as needed.
In the following weeks, I traveled and spoke at other conferences. These conferences didn’t have nursing stations. I came prepared this time with my own pump, but the logistics were annoying: I had to leave the venue, Uber to my hotel, pump for nearly an hour in my room, and Uber back. I missed sessions and connections.
Many people may advise me to just bring my daughter. I’ve tried that. I attempted my first work trip when she was three or four months old. As her only food source, I brought her with me. It was a gargantuan effort. I showed up to events exhausted and anxious, slipping away at lunch to feed her, skipping evening gatherings to return to the hotel. Over months, we introduced formula and solids so she could thrive without me, but traveling for work remained a monumental task.
Nursing rooms are not an amenity or perk. They are not just a courtesy for parents who wish to feed their children on site though that alone is reason enough. They are a health requirement. Without one, nursing parents risk infection, pain, and the impossible choice between their well being and their participation.
If you’re hosting a conference, and you intend for it to be inclusive, prioritize including a nursing station. Please and thank you on behalf of all nursing parents who travel for work.
Top comments (3)
Another aside, I've always said that conference should have an option to send your partner/caretaker something instead of a speaker gift if they're at home watching the kids. It's a lot of work to make it to conferences, whether or not both parents work.
hehe yep, been there!!!
Thank you for this post! I feel like we still don’t talk enough about combining motherhood with a career, especially a conference-focused one. And what about bringing kids to conferences? I once attended one as a speaker with my 9-month-old daughter. During my talk, my grandmother (yes, my grandmother - 70+) looked after her, and afterwards I carried her in a baby carrier. It was probably quite an uncommon sight at IT conferences 😅